Weddings, Bar Mitzvah and Pidyon HaBen
Q. Is it Halacha that a chosson and kallah cannot take pictures before the bedekin/chuppah?
A. It's not a halacha so much as it's a widely-accepted practice among Ashkenazim for the bride and groom not to see each other for a week before the wedding. From a strictly halachic standpoint, taking pictures before the chuppah would be justifiable in order to avoid the inconvenience to the guests but there are other considerations, such as the couple won't be able to touch in pre-chuppah pictures (so there's that awkwardness), plus it takes away that moment at the badecken when they see each other for the first time. Ultimately, if a couple is inclined to take pictures before the chuppah, the appropriate thing to do would be to ask the mesader kiddushin, who is the halachic authority for the wedding.
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Q. My fiance and I cannot afford a wedding, and would like to elope. Is there anything that prevents a Jew from eloping?
A. Nothing in Jewish law requires you to hire a band, a photographer, a florist or a caterer. You are under no obligation to feed a five-course meal to 200 people in order to get married. You do, however, need a kesubah (marriage contract), witnesses who are valid under Jewish law, and a few other things. So, if by "elope" you mean that you would be married by a judge, a justice of the peace, or an Elvis impersonator, you might be married under civil law but not according to Jewish law. If by "elope" you mean that you would get married privately by a rabbi who would ensure that you have everything you need under Jewish law, that would be fine. (Your family and friends might still complain, though!)
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Q. I was just wondering, as it is my friend’s Bar Mitzvah today, would I be allowed to wish him a happy birthday [i.e., on a fast day], as it’s essentially a day of mourning and therefore unnecessary joy? Also fasts in general and the Three Weeks.
A. Thanks for your question, which was forwarded to my attention. It's really only a problem on Tisha b'Av (and, of course, if someone's in actual mourning). If it feels weird or inappropriate to do so on other fast days, you always have the option of waiting until the fast ends, or "writing around it" by saying something like, "I'd wish you a happy birthday but it doesn't feel in the spirit of the day." I have never, however, heard any objection to wishing someone a happy birthday during the Three Weeks. It's just a social courtesy, like "good morning."
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Q. My sister and her husband will be having a Pidyon HaBen for their firstborn son soon. What's a good way to explain this mitzva to relatives of mine who aren't Orthodox?
A. Thanks for your question. Originally, the first-born sons were supposed to serve as functionaries in the Temple. When the Jews sinned with the Golden Calf, only the Tribe of Levi didn't participate so the job was taken from the first-born sons and given to the Levites. For this reason, first-born sons have to be redeemed by giving a kohein (a Jewish "priest") five silver shekels.
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Rabbi Jack's book Ask Rabbi Jack is available from Kodesh Press and on Amazon.com.