The Highs and Lows of Speaking Lashon Hara
וְצִוָּה הַכֹּהֵן וְלָקַח לַמִּטַּהֵר... וְעֵץ אֶרֶז וּשְׁנִי תוֹלַעַת וְאֵזֹב
The Kohen shall command, and he shall take for the person being purified… cedar wood, crimson thread and hyssop.[1]
What is the significance of the inclusion of these items in the purification process of the metzora? Moreover, to the extent that the lofty cedar tree and the lowly hyssop bush and worm-dyed thread have clearly opposite associations, why are they all brought together?
It is well-known that one of the primary reasons for speaking lashon hara stems from the fact that one feels he is better than others, and therefore highlights their flaws and shortcomings, accordingly. However, there is a basic question to be raised here. A person who is fully and truly confident in his superiority does not generally feel the need to constantly prove it. One who is wealthy does not continually highlight how poor other people are. Why is this situation different? The answer is that although a person would naturally like to believe that he is perfect, part of him knows that this is not true. Therefore, in order to fuel the perfection-narrative he has created, he needs to feed it by focusing on the imperfections of others, thereby proving to himself that he really is better than them. Unfortunately, and somehow unbeknownst to him, the part of him that never really believed it in the first place is never going be convinced at a later stage, leaving him with a steady commitment of finding fault in others that is not only ongoing, but also futile.
There is a startling idea found in the classic mussar work Chovos Halevavos,[2] who writes that if a person speaks lashon hara about others, he receives some of their sins. Although the Chovos Halevavos does not specify how much one needs to speak about them in order to incur this punishment, or exactly how many sins are transferred, the concept itself is most perplexing. How is this an appropriate punishment for speaking lashon hara? R’ Ze’ev Freund[3] explains that since the motivation for speaking lashon hara is to establish oneself as a tzaddik though highlighting the sins he sees in others, it turns out that, through their sins, they become partners with him in his tzaddik status, so that it is only fair that he bear some of their sins for them!
The incredible idea that emerges from this is that the path toward ceasing to focus on the flaws of others is to accept the flaws within one’s own self. With no pressure to sustain a persona of perfection, the need to identify and fixate on others shortcomings will dissolve. To this end, the recovering metzora is told to bring cedar wood – reflecting his high points and strengths – together with hyssop and crimson thread from a worm – representing his low points, weaknesses and failings. Through this, he recognizes that, like everyone else, he contains something of both. Not only will accepting this truth release him from devoting all his attention to others’ flaws, it will also allow him to turn his attention to his own negative traits, and to begin setting about correcting and improving them.
[2] Sha’ar Hakniyah chap. 7. The sefer Kosnos Ohr of R’ Meir Eisenshtadt (Parshas Metzora) cites a similar idea in the name of the Sefer Chassidim.
[3] Shabbos u’Moadim, Parshas Metzora.