Pekudei: “Helping at Home”

I often get questioned about the title I’ve given to this ongoing weekly column. “Who is the person in the parsha?” readers ask.

The answer takes me back to the time many years ago when I began to write the column. My original intention was to focus on a person in the Torah’s narrative who frequently is ignored by most commentators and who rarely appear in sermons from rabbinic pulpits. Devorah, Rebecca’s nursemaid, is one such example, and another is Ahaliav ben Achisamach, the amazingly skilled artisan who deserves our admiration for his role in crafting the aesthetic grandeur of the Mishkan.

Over the course of time, I invited other “persons” into my column. They range from lesser-known commentaries such as Chassidic leaders and Mussar masters, to my own personal role models including my parents and grandparents, and to the many teachers whose lessons I’ve absorbed.

This week’s Torah portion, Pekudei (Exodus 38:21-40:38), is parsha which is read barely two weeks before Pesach/Passover. By signaling the proximity of that important holiday, Pekudei sends a message to us all: Prepare for all the work that comprises the festival. That includes spiritual preparation, of course, but also entails more mundane chores such as house cleaning, shopping, cooking, and baking. In many, perhaps most, Jewish households, it is the woman of the house, the wife or mother, who bears the burden of it all.

I’m tempted to say that it is, therefore, the woman of the home who at this time of year deserves the title “Person in the Parsha.” Perhaps not the parsha of the Torah reading, but certainly the “parsha” of the exhausting toil of Pesach preparations.

But does it have to be this way? Is it necessary for the mistress of the family to bear, if not all the burden, then certainly the brunt of it all? Can not the rest of the family, husband and children, relieve her of at least some of her responsibilities?

To help address these questions, I wish to share with you a book which I may never have mentioned in all these years of parsha columns. It is a book written by a writer, counselor, and Torah scholar named Rav Shlomo Rosenstein. The title of the book is HaParasha HaMechanechet, “The Torah Portion as an Educational Tool”. The author’s objective is to present practical life lessons for individuals, families, and communities from every Torah portion by drawing from the works of that master nineteenth century commentator and rabbinic educator, Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch.

Rav Rosenstein begins by explicating the major content and eternal lesson of the parsha of Pekudei. It is that the Children of Israel succeeded in building a Mishkan, requiring numerous and rare materials and uniquely skilled laborers amid an arid wilderness; it was because every member of the group participated, one way or another, in its construction. No one can take all the credit for this singular achievement. Everyone “chipped in,” at least to some extent.

Total participation in the construction of the Mishkan, argues Rav Rosenstein, must serve as a model for every social group and every family. If any project is to succeed, everyone must take part, each according to his or her capabilities. The woman of the household cannot be the sole participant in the laborious Pesach preparations.

Interestingly, Rav Rosenstein shares some details about a counseling group consisting of women who discussed this very topic. It surprised me to learn that a quite a few of the women in the group insisted that they prefer to do all the work themselves rather than enlisting the help of other family members. Only a few spoke up about the rewards of encouraging others to do their share. “It makes for a wonderful family-centered Pesach,” asserted one of them.

What I like most about Rav Rosenstein’s comments on Parshat Pekudei are the passages he gathers from the writings of his spiritual mentor, Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch. As far as I can tell, Rav Hirsch’s insistence upon total involvement in group projects does not appear in his commentary on Parshat Pekudei. Rather, it appears throughout his other vast writings. Here are some of those passages, which I’ve translated freely from Rav Rosenstein’s excellent Hebrew presentation of Rav Hirsch’s opinions.

Here is one example of what Rav Rosenstein declares is Rav Hirsch’s explanation of the successful enlistment of all to accomplish the objective of the Mishkan’s construction:

“One does not become a significant member of a nation by his mere presence. In fact, he does not merit his presence just because he exists”

“Only he who contributes and gives of himself truly counts.”

“Only he who gives of himself and contributes acquires the privilege of continued presence.”

“Only he who contributes to the extent of what is commanded of him is privileged to hold a lofty position over others whom the Lord has granted the crown of life, and only such a person earns the privilege of leadership over an entire national community.”

“Only he who contributes his fair share can be numbered among the Children of Israel.”

Elsewhere, Rav Hirsch points out that all this is true not only of national entities, but of all societies that strive for unity. He writes:

“In all human spheres and interpersonal groups, members share common values and goals which bind them together, and only the individual who adheres to these values and help achieve these goals is numbered as an indispensable member of the collective.”

And finally, “At the moment when one asks to be counted but has not contributed his fair share and yet demands the privilege of existence as part of the group despite his failure to contribute, such a person had forfeited his right to existence.”

Strong words indeed—but words which we are well-advised to take to heart these days when there are many who, one way or another seek a “free ride.” Many wish to benefit from the collective while denying their talents, skills, and material possessions from that collective, thus failing miserably in helping the collective live up to its potential greatness.

The fast-approaching festival of Pesach provides the perfect opportunity to eschew self-centeredness and to instead make use of the chance for all, outcasts and separatists and dunces and wise men, to sit around the same festive table and appreciate the significance of the Exodus from Egypt. Around that table, we can reflect upon all the magnificence and glory that we will realize, even in these challenging times, if we but open ourselves up to teachings such as those of Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch.