Modeh Ani - Part 1
How exciting and energizing it is to begin a new cycle of Weekly Tefilah Focus!
Chazal tell us that if you are committed to begin a consistent effort to complete a long-term learning initiative, all the reward for what is to come for the entire span of the project (which could be several years!) will be granted upon starting the initiative!! What a great chesed and opportunity that Hashem provides us with. If we commit now to be consistent as we begin our journey through the Siddur, we will be credited with the benefits of our future growth NOW.
Our first miniseries starts with our first tefilah of every day, as we open our eyes in the morning. Arguably, the words “Modeh ani l’fanecha,” which are the first words we speak while in bed, before even washing our hands, have the potential to be the most powerful and impactful words we speak all day. This short but extremely potent statement of admission, acknowledgment, gratitude, and commitment can lead us to a successful day. In fact, HaRav Chaim Volozhin writes that the success of our entire day is based on how we arise and the commitment we make at the outset.
Grammatically, it would have been better to say “Ani modeh…” Why do we reverse the order and begin with the word “Modeh”? Because the first word we speak in our day sets the tone of our day and life, we do not want the first word we speak to be “I” – with the connotation that I am the center, and my day and life is focused on what “I” want. Instead, we begin with the opposite message: “Modeh” suggests admission, acknowledgment, and gratitude. We are admitting and acknowledging that we are l’fanecha – before You (Hashem).
These three words can be thought about in a few impactful ways. First, we admit and acknowledge that Hashem is always here wherever we are. This means that He sees all we are doing and thinking. This first understanding is a statement of yir’as Hashem, awareness of Hashem.
Second, we admit and acknowledge that we are before Hashem in the sense that whatever comes our way during the day is coming from Hashem. The more we can internalize that Hashem is always with us and doing what is truly best for us, the calmer and more at ease we will be throughout the day. This, then, becomes a statement of bitachon at the very start of our day.
Third, we are contemplating and expressing gratitude that we are before Hashem. Unfortunately, not everyone who goes to sleep at night wakes up in the morning. Even those who wake up don’t always wake up in the same health they were in when they went to sleep. When we wake up and our minds and bodies are as they were when we went to sleep, we have much to be grateful for, regardless of the life challenges we are facing.
Fourth, we are committing to be “before You.” This means, we are not on this world to do as we please. We are here to come close to Hashem and earn a blissful eternity, the pleasure of which we cannot fathom, because that is His desire, to bestow the ultimate goodness upon us. We accomplish this by doing His will, as directed to us through His Torah. Subconsciously, we should always be asking ourselves: What does Hashem want me to do, think, or say, now?
These thoughts should lead to an empowering and energizing start to our day. We will present the rest of “Modeh Ani” in the coming segments. However, let us conclude this segment with a commitment that we should make to ourselves after completing the 12 words of “Modeh Ani.” This commitment can be a general commitment of serving Hashem this day with mind, heart, and focus. It can also include specifics based on our particular role in life and, more specifically, our role in the upcoming day.
The practice of acknowledgment, gratitude, and commitment, rooted in “Modeh Ani,” invites us to live each day with purpose, connection, and a deep sense of appreciation for the gift of life. If we start our day with a heartfelt and mindful “Modeh Ani,” Hashem will surely help us to have a successful day of meaning and purpose.
(Much of this segment is based on Nefesh Shimshon by HaRav Shimshon Pincus zt”l.)