Sanhedrin - Daf 22
- The story of Dovid and Avishag, and כמה קשין גירושין
The next Mishnah states that no one may use the king’s horse, throne, or scepter, because we darshen שתהא אימתו עליך – that the fear of him must be upon you. Rebbe Yochanan says that אבישג השונמית, who served and provided warmth for Dovid in his old age, was permitted to marry Shlomo, who was also a king (and may use the previous king’s scepter), but was forbidden to Adoniah, who was a commoner.
Avishag asked Dovid to marry her, but he said it was forbidden, since he had already married the maximum of eighteen wives. Rav Shemen bar Abba commented: בא וראה כמה קשין גירושין – come and see the harshness of divorce, שהרי דוד המלך התירו לו לייחד – because they permitted Dovid Hamelech to seclude himself with Avishag after this was Rabbinically prohibited, ולא התירו לו לגרש – and they did not instead permit him to divorce one of his wives so he could marry Avishag. Rebbe Eliezer says: כל המגרש את אשתו ראשונה – Whoever divorces his first wife, אפילו מזבח מוריד עליו דמעות – the mizbeiach sheds tears because of him.
- The impact of a wife’s passing, and special relationship of a first wife
Rebbe Yochanan said: כל אדם שמתה אשתו ראשונה – Anyone whose first wife dies, כאילו חרב בית המקדש בימיו – it is for him like the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed in his lifetime. Amoraim describe how a person is impacted by his wife’s passing: (1) עולם חשך בעדו – the world is darkened for him, (2) פסיעותיו מתקצרות – his steps become shortened, and (3) עצתו נופלת – his advice fails.
Rebbe Yochanan said: קשה לזווגם כקריעת ים סוף – It is as difficult to pair [a man and woman] as splitting the ים סוף. The Gemara asks that Rav says that forty days before a child’s formation, a בת קול says, “The daughter of Ploni is destined for Ploni”!? It answers that this latter statement refers to first marriages, and the difficulty of matchmaking refers to second marriages. Rav Shmuel bar Nachman said: לכל יש תמורה חוץ מאשת נעורים – there is a substitute for everything, except for the wife of one’s youth. Rav Yehudah taught his son Rav Yitzchak: אין אדם מוצא קורת רוח אלא מאשתו ראשונה – a person only finds contentment from his first wife. A Baraisa teaches: אין איש מת אלא לאשתו – a man dies only for his wife, ואין אשה מתה אלא לבעלה – and a woman dies only for her husband (i.e., the death is felt most by one’s spouse).
- A Kohen may grow his hair long nowadays, machlokes about drinking wine
A Baraisa teaches that a Kohen must cut his hair every thirty days, as derived from a nazir. This does not apply nowadays, because it is compared to the prohibition for Kohanim who drank wine: just as that prohibition is only בזמן ביאה – at a time of entering the Beis Hamikdash, so too the prohibition against long hair is only when entering the Beis Hamikdash. The Gemara asks that only Rebbe permits drinking wine nowadays, upon which Kohanim rely, but the Rabbonon prohibit drinking wine, and growing hair long should likewise be prohibited!? The Gemara explains that the Rabbonon prohibit drinking wine, because מהרה יבנה בית המקדש – the Beis Hamikdash may be speedily built, requiring a Kohen to perform עבודה, which he cannot do if he drank wine. The Gemara asks that long hair should be prohibited nowadays for the same reason, and two answers are given: (1) If the Beis Hamikdash is suddenly rebuilt, a Kohen can immediately have his hair cut, whereas a Kohen who drank more than a רביעית of wine becomes more intoxicated by sleeping. (2) עבודה performed by one who drank wine is invalid, but עבודה performed by Kohanim with long hair is valid. This distinction is challenged.
