Reflecting Reuven's Repentance
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Parshat Vayeshev tells us the chilling details leading up to and including the sale of Yosef. Within this narrative. While all the brothers are present when Yosef Hatzadikfirst approaches them and they throw him into the pit, when the brothers sell Yosef Hatzadikto the passing Ishmaelites, it seems Reuven is not present, for he returns to the pit and, finding it empty, tears his garment in grief. Where had Reuven gone?
The Medrash fills us in: Reuven was doing teshuvah. He was donning sackcloth and ashes and was fasting in repentance. For what infraction was Reuven repenting? After Rachel Imenu's death, Yaakov Avinu had moved his constant bed into the tent of Bilhah, Rachel Imenu's maidservant. Reuven felt this to be a dishonor to his own mother, Leah Imenu. Reuven felt that Yaakov Avinu should have made his permanent "bedroom" with his own mother, Yaakov Avinu's first wife. Meanwhile, Yaakov Avinu reasoned that he would continue honoring Rachel Imenu by honoring her maidservant. Further, the cloud of Hashem's presence that had hovered over Rachel Imenu's tent had itself moved from Rachel Imenu's tent to Bilhah's tent. It was for this invasion of Yaakov Avinu's privacy that Reuven was now repenting.
First we must clarify that Reuven did not actually sin with Bilhah, he did not "go in" to Bilhah. He "went out," took out his father's bed. He overstepped, but he stepped up from a misplaced sense of responsibility as the bechor, the firstborn. As Rabbi Friedlander zt”l says, Reuven's sin stemmed from his impetuosity, of acting without forethought, without weighing all the factors and all the possible ramifications of his action. This was particularly a grave sin as he was the eldest, and should have acted in a more responsible manner. Rabbi Nevenzahl points out, it is this impetuosity that Yaakov Avinu later highlights when he blesses the Tribes before his death, giving each Tribe the message relevant to their future.
The Medrash goes on to say that Reuven was the first person to do teshuvah, and Hashem rewarded Reuven. Every year we read the prophecy of his descendant, the Prophet Hosea, whose prophesy, "שובה/ Return, Israel, to Hashem your God," (Hosea 14:2) on the Shabbat between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. But isn't it true that Adam, the very first person, did teshuvah, as did Cain? And didn't Moshe also exhort Bnei Yisroel to do teshuvah? What is the difference between Reuven and our other examples?
Since Reuven is a model for teshuvah, and Chanukah is an auspicious time for teshuvah, Rabbi Bernstein finds a Medrashic connection in a verse from Shir Hashirim: "הדודאים/The mandrake flowers [that Reuven brought to Leah Imenu] have given off their fragrance, and at our doors [where sin crouches] are all precious fruits." The fragrant flowers, says the Medrash, refers to Reuven saving Yosef, while the precious fruits at the door refers to the Chanukah candles that we light in the doorway.
How is Chanukah such an auspicious time for teshuvah? Rabbi Meizlish explains that on Shabbat and the Three Pilgrimage Festivals Hashem invites us into His house, in the month of Elul, Hashem is in the field, but the Chanukah candles must be below ten tephachim/handbreadths, and Hashem comes down to us at this level, into our homes. Here He is available to all, even to the incarcerated who cannot leave their cells and go to the fields. On Chanukah, everyone can approach Hashem and ask for atonement. On Chanukah all who are imprisoned by their yetzer horo have an opportunity to ask Hashem's help in purifying themselves.
Rabbi Meizlish further explains the power of Chanukah. All our other Festivals are seven days long [by Torah; Sukkot is seven days, as Shemini Atzeret is a separate holiday]. Seven is the number associated with nature, as the world was created in seven days. But eight represents the supra-natural, that which is above and beyond nature. As such, Chanukah has the power of eight to lead us back to the spiritual world.
Let us now return to discussing how Reuven's teshuvah was unique. Ohel Moshe explains that Adam and Cain indeed did teshuvah, but only after Hashem told them they had sinned. They did teshuvah out of fear. Reuven, on the other hand, took the initiative. Once he understood that he had fallen off the mark, he did teshuvah without any prodding; he did teshuvah out of intense love.
So what is the difference between these two forms of teshuvah? Citing Ramban, Rabbi Goldwicht zt”l explains that positive commandments involve action, moving forward, performing from a place of love. In contrast, negative commandments freeze us in place for fear of messing up. When a person sins, hidden aspects of his personality are being actualized negatively. Teshuvah emanating from love takes these same character traits and transforms them and elevates them by using them in positive ways.
When Reuven sinned, continues Rabbi Goldwicht, he had misplaced his sense of responsibility as the firstborn. Here, at the pit, Reuven again sensed his firstborn responsibility and tried to save Yosef Hatzadikfrom death. The same character trait that had previously led him to sin was now being transformed and used in a positive way. Reuven now understood that the responsibility of a firstborn must be accepted with weighty consideration, without impetuosity. It was this realization that he had stumbled that propelled him to return to the pit. This is what Hosea's prophecy urges, "שובה... כי כשלת בעוניך/ Return... for you have stumbled in your iniquity," it is the iniquity itself that has brought you to do teshuvah, explains Rabbi Nisson Alpert zt”l. Thus, Reuven's teshuvah was not out of fear, but out of love.
In an interesting observation, Rabbi Biederman notes that our teshuvah throughout the year follows a natural process, just as the natural world was created in seven days. But Hashem created a path for teshuvah before He created our physical world. In that sense, it is above the natural; it belongs in the realm of the eight, like Chanukah itself when nature was upended and the many fell to the few.
Teshuvah itself can take many forms, some more effective than others. As Rabbi Wachtfogel zt”l points out, Adam and Cain did teshuvah for a particular sin, while Reuven uncovered the source of his sin and changed that. He changed his impetuosity to patience and contemplation, writes Rabbi Kofman in Mishchat Shemen, when he told his brothers to throw Yosef Hatzadikinto the pit and see what happens [hoping to come back and save him] rather than killing him immediately.
To get rid of evil it is not enough to only cut out individual sins, the symptoms, but to uproot the source, the cancer itself, writes Rabbi Eisenberger. For example, if one's love of talking leads to speaking loshon horo, is the source of the sin a need to diminish another because of one's own low self-esteem, or because of insatiable curiosity? Once you identify the source, you can fix it and transform it for positive results. Certainly, insatiable curiosity can be used for Torah Study, or for scientific research to benefit mankind, for example. If he doesn't identify and uproot the negativity of the source, it will reemerge as another sinful action, much as a tumor that has been excised but left some cancer cells behind will metastasized elsewhere.
We are not one-dimensional figures. Our nefesh/life force is comprised of many dimensions, emotions, powers and drives. When they act together in harmony, with synergistic energy, under one guiding principle, under the rubric of Torah, one lives with menuchas hanefesh, a sense of calm and security that enables us to live a life of meaning and enables us to actualize our purpose on earth, writes Rabbi Ostrov in The Menucha Principle. On the other hand, when these elements are not in sync, we will be living with pizur hanefesh, a fragmented life force manifesting itself in its most innocuous form as [literally] scatter brained or more sadly or even tragically as pathologies of anxiety, depression anger, obsessive compulsion, or others. Pizur hanefesh distorts time and confuses us, making us impatient like a child, pumping up muscles and revving a car only to come to a full stop at the next red light. When we realize that Hashem has orchestrated every moment of our lives, that we are exactly where we need to be right now, we have an appreciation of the moment, we feel serene, and do not need to keep rushing to the next moment and the next experience.
Chanukah is a time of special connection to Hakodosh Boruch Hu. As we watch the candle flames rise, our nefesh experiences a sense of calm serenity and reconnection to our inner essence, writes Rabbi Biederman.
Reuven's teshuvah was unique in yet another way, suggests Rabbi Nieman zt”l in Darchei Mussar. Usually when someone realizes he has sinned, it is not unusual to do teshuvah. However, when one erred but thought he was doing a mitzvah, one's entire mindset must change. When Reuven moved His father's bed, he thought he was observing the mitzvah of honoring his mother. When he realized he had erred, he did teshuvah. No one had ever done teshuvah for an act he had mistakenly perceived to be a mitzvah. When Hosea says, "That you stumbled in your iniquity," he was referring to the mistaken thought that caused you to sin.
What changed Reuven's perception? When he saw how little the brothers paid to what their father would feel at the loss of his beloved son, he realized that their insensitivity began when they witnessed his insensitivity to his father by moving his bed. The brothers were here following the example set by their firstborn brother. Although his sin was unintentional, he took responsibility and did teshuvah. This was the first time that someone did teshuvah for something that was not really a sin but was nevertheless inappropriate.
Artscroll Midrash Insights provides a profound understanding to Reuven's teshuvah. The entire family knew that Yaakov Avinu was destined to father sons who would be the foundation of the twelve holy tribes. There were now indeed twelve sons, but if Yosef Hatzadikwere to be killed and lost, only eleven tribes would remain. The specter of this possibility awakened in Reuven the possible tragic ramifications of his earlier actions. Suppose Yaakov Avinu was meant to father another child with Bilhah that would replace Yosef Hatzadikand keep the count at twelve tribes. Perhaps his actions had prevented the birth of that future tribe. Reuven, although these consequences never materialized, did teshuvah for the unseen results his rash action could have brought about. No one had ever done teshuvah for unanticipated consequences. So the Prophet urges Bnei Yisroel to to repent now, before this sin leads you even further astray. As Pirkei Avos warns us, one sin leads to another.
The Modzitzer Rebbe zt”l approaches our scenario from a completely different perspective. He suggests that the brothers were not intent on killing Yosef, but on killing the yetzer horo within him, to take the נער, the youthful tendency toward sin, and kill that tendency, to put Yosef Hatzadikin the position to do teshuvah.
Here Reuven and Yehudah disagreed about how to do teshuvah. Both initially agreed that it required suffering, throwing Yosef Hatzadikinto the pit. But Yehudah felt teshuvah required exile, moving out, as had been the practice until now, and as he later "went down" from the family to do his own teshuvah. Reuven, on the other hand, felt that in addition to the suffering, mourning your transgression, donning sackcloth and ashes, was the proper way to do teshuvah. Reuven was present at the sale of Yosef, but did not agree to the sale, to the exile.
We can now see a connection between Sukkot, the festival where we leave our homes and go into virtual exile in huts, and Chanukah, where we do teshuvah in our homes when we light the menorah in our doorways. The point is reinforced when we notice that the last mitzvah of Sukkot recorded in Parshat Emor is immediately followed by the mitzvoth of lighting the menorah, notes Rabbi Bernstein. Shemini Atzeret, the eighth day which follows and completes the seven days of Sukkot then parallels the eight days of Chanukah. The dreidel spins on Chanukah, a symbol of our journey. But what is meaningful is where it lands. According to many commentators, our teshuvah journey begins in Elul, keeps spinning, but the final judgment lands on the eighth day of Chanukah.
On the eight day of Chanukah, a simple Jew can achieve with his teshuvah as much as a completely righteous Jew can achieve on Rosh Hashanah. On Chanukah, the hidden light in the soul of the Jew is revealed, as is a taste of the hidden light of creation, writes Rabbi Wolfson zt”l in Festivals of Faith.