Bava Basra - Daf 145
- A woman keeps kiddushin money when the husband dies, saying "תנו לי בעלי ואשמח עמו"
A Baraisa teaches that if a marriage cannot be completed after kiddushin, they follow the local custom whether to refund the kiddushin money. Shmuel says this is only where the bride died, but if the groom died, the money is not refunded, because she can say: תנו לי בעלי ואשמח עמו – “Give me my husband and I will rejoice with him!” (meaning, she was prepared to complete the marriage). The Gemara suggests this is a machlokes Tannaim, because a Baraisa records two opinions (Rebbe Nassan and Rebbe Yehudah HaNasi) whether kiddushin is returned when the marriage is not completed, but they both apparently say to follow the local custom!? Rather, the Baraisa is missing a qualification, that if she died, the local custom is followed, but if he died, Rebbe Nassan says she keeps it, because she can say "תנו לי בעלי ואשמח עמו", and Rebbe Yehudah HaNasi still says to follow the custom. The Gemara responds that all Tannaim can agree that if he died, the kiddushin is not refunded. Rather, the machlokes is where she died, and they argue if קדושין לטיבועין ניתנו – kiddushin money is given for “sinking,” meaning it is never refunded.
- If one did not attend his groomsman’s wedding, and if the marriage is different than his
Rav Kahana said: כללא דשושבינותא – the rule for groomsman’s gifts is, if he (Reuven) was in town when the groomsman who joined in his wedding (Shimon) got married, איבעי ליה למיתא – he should have attended to repay the שושבינות; although he did not attend, he still must repay Shimon. The same applies if he heard the sound of the bell announcing the wedding. If he did not hear it, Shimon should have informed him, תרעומת אית ליה – and [Reuven] has a valid complaint against him; nonetheless, he must repay שושבינות to Shimon. Still, he may deduct the value of the food he would have received at the wedding, as the Gemara explains. A Baraisa teaches that if the first wedding (“Reuven’s”) was held publicly, and the second wedding (“Shimon’s”) was held privately, Reuven can say: בפומבי אעשה עמך כדרך שעשית עמי – “In public I will do שושבינות for you, in the way you did for me!” He may refuse to reciprocate in a less joyous wedding. The same applies if Reuven married a בתולה, and Shimon married an אלמנה, a less joyous event. The same applies if Shimon’s wedding is more joyous, e.g., if Reuven married his second wife, and Shimon is marrying his first.
- Comparing different types of mastery Torah
A Baraisa states: עתיר נכסין עתיר פומבי – “Rich in visible properties (such as fields) and publicly rich,” זה הוא בעל הגדות – this is a master of Aggadah, who often speaks publicly, and develops a scholarly reputation. “Rich in coins (i.e., a moneychanger) and rich in Tekoan oil” is a בעל פלפול, who frequently gains new insights in Torah. “Rich in measured goods (such as grain) and rich in (hidden) stored goods” is a בעל שמועות – master of teachings, i.e. the halachos and statements of Amoraim, which he can quote when a questions arises. הכל צריכין למרי חטיא – “Everyone needs the owner of wheat,” refers to גמרא (the analysis and interpretation of Mishnayos). Rav said that the passuk: "כל ימי עני רעים" – all the days of a poor person are bad refers to a בעל גמרא, who strains himself to correctly resolve questions and challenges. "וטוב לב משתה תמיד" – But he of good heart has a continuous feast refers to a בעל משנה, which is easier. Rava said the opposite, because a בעל משנה is frustrated in being unable to rule halachos, or resolve apparent contradictions, whereas a בעל גמרא finds great satisfaction in his learning. This passuk is explained in several other ways.
