26. Embarrassing Others in Public

Dedicated by Fran Broder as a zechus for the hostages to be released safely to their families and may everlasting peace come to Eretz Yisrael in the merit of learning Hilchot Bein Adam L’Chaveiro

1 – The Prohibition of Embarrassing Others

1.   It is forbidden according to the Torah to embarrass another Jew (Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 6:8). This is derived from the verse “you shall rebuke your fellow and you shall not bear a sin against him,” which is understood to mean that one should not shame another while rebuking them (Arachin 16b). One who shames another also violates other mitzvot  including ona’at devarim (hurting another verbally) and not loving your fellow like yourself (Sefer Chafetz Chaim, Introduction; Sefer LeRei’acha Kamocha, vol.3, p,.71).

2.   The Gemara states that it is preferable for a person to throw himself into a fiery furnace rather than embarrass another in public (Sotah 10b), indicating that public embarrassment is more severe than embarrassing another privately. According to some opinions, this is accepted as the practical halacha, and one should preferably give up one’s life rather than embarrass another publicly (Tosafot, Sotah 10b; Sha’arei Teshuvah of Rabbeinu Yonah 3:139). However, others disagree with this approach (Meiri, Sotah 10b; Pnei Yehoshua, Bava Metzia 59b), and even those who do rule strictly agree that there are multiple conditions that must be fulfilled in order for one to truly be obligated to give up his or her life (Sefer LeRei’acha Kamocha, vol.3, p.72).