Honoring Others and Being Satisfied
Though we have since finished counting the Omer and addressing the tragedy of Rabbi Akiva’s students, we still find ourselves in the summer months, where Pirkei Avot is studied, to emphasize that middot need to be improved at all times. Rabbi Mordechai Aderet, a master in Shas, halacha and kabbalah, has a powerful explanation into the words of the Gemara (Yevamos 62b) that state, Rabbi Akiva’s talmidim perished because “shelo nahagu kavod zeh bazeh – they didn’t give respect to each other.” He notes that the death didn’t come because they actively denigrated each other but rather because they failed to place each one of their peers on a pedestal and give them the necessary kavod in concert with what the Mishna (Avot: 2:10) says, “Rabbi Eliezer said: Let the honor of your friend be as dear to you as your own.”
There’s no question that one has an inner built-in mechanism to feel his own self-worth. It’s nature, it’s survival. Your friend must be honored in the same way that you honor yourself. And, as a literal result of failing to do this, another Mishna notes (Avot 4:22), “Rabbi Elazar Hakapar would say: jealousy, lust, and [desire for] honor remove a person from the world.”
The fact that this happened with Rabbi Akiva’s group of 24,000 students, who were likely similar in some ways in talent, means that one’s spiritual competitors must be especially honored by you. That’s the real challenge. And it really comes down to bitachon, because if you know that you have the precise talent you’re supposed to have, you can give great honor to others, because you realize their talents are needed to perfect this world as well.
In bein adam LaMakom, the Rav notes that we have a partnership with G-d in this world, as the verse (Genesis 2:3) says, “…G-d rested from all the work which G-d created to do.” To do, la’asot, is extra, and it gives us a charge to perfect the world with G-d. We must be trustworthy partners, though, that abide by the bylaws.
The perfection of the world was destroyed by Adam and Chava who made individual calculations and looked where they weren’t supposed to. This is why Yosef is the first Moshiach in the future, because he rose above the eyes. He knew what happened to him was part of G-d’s plan and that is why no ayin hara could ever affect him. He reached a level of spiritual perfection. We also must rectify Adam’s sin every day and not look around or wonder why we are in our particular situation. We must realize we have exactly what we need to succeed in our mission and any questioning is tantamount to the sin of Adam HaRishon.
The final Moshiach, of Davidic lineage, has to also come outside the glance of the eyes, but for a different reason, to avoid the Angel of Death. In Moshiach ben David’s lineage, there had to be suspicions and questions with notions of imperfections. Ideas of cohabitations with daughters, such as by Lot, and questionable connections, such as with Tamar, deflected the Angel of Death from suspecting any potential holiness. The Angel of Death looks to kill absolute purity; he gives no credence to a future Messiah wrapped in suspicion. G-d conceals Himself as well in today’s times, which Rabbi Frand notes is to teach us to remain below the radar as well, in humility.
The imperfection of Yehuda and the perfection of Yosef meet each other when we say, “Hashem Hu HaElokim" on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is the highest day man can reach and it is then we say that in fact the G-d of mercy will become one of judgement because ultimately the world will be perfected.
As we see parshas Chukas, the Torah is a chok, and we follow it because G-d commanded us to. But there is a treasure relating to the Torah that gives us the chance to gather an enormous amount of mitzvos through studying it. A good partner tries to follow as many commandments as possible. The Chafetz Chaim did a calculation and said that every letter of the Torah studied is one mitzvah from the Torah. Therefore, in one hour one would gain 60,000 mitzvos, and if one were to study ten hours a day, he would gain 600,000 mitzvos. Indeed, Talmud Torah k’neged kulam.
If we shower kavod on every person we know, both competitors and others, we are showing complete faith in G-d that we have exactly what we need to succeed and if we don’t ask questions about our situation in life but accept it with full belief that it’s exactly attuned to what we need, then we can bring a final fusion between perfection and imperfection to reveal G-d’s glory to all of humanity.