1,013. The Best Form of Honor

143:20 A person is obligated to honor his older brother, whether he's a brother on his father's side or his mother's side. A person must likewise honor his father-in-law and mother-in-law as we see from King David, who honored King Saul when he was his father-in-law, calling him "my father" (I Samuel 24:11). One is required to honor his grandfather but the honor due to his father is greater than that due to his grandfather.

143:21 If a person really wants to honor his parents, he should occupy himself with Torah study and good deeds. This is a great honor to his parents because people will say, “Happy are the ones who raised such a son.” But if the son doesn't follow the proper path, his parents will be blamed for him and this will disgrace them in the worst possible way. Similarly, if a father really wants to be compassionate towards his son, he should occupy himself with Torah study and good deeds, and be on good terms with both Heaven and other people. This will cause his son to be honored by him. However, if a person doesn't follow the right path and his children follow in his footsteps, they may be blamed for the sins of the parents as per Exodus 20:5, “revisiting the sin of the fathers upon the children.” There is no one more cruel than one who causes his children to die because of his sins. Conversely, there is no one more merciful than the righteous, whose merits last for a thousand generations.