Providential Pain Perspective
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
The Mishkan has now been completed and inaugurated. To symbolize God's presence, a cloud would cover the Mishkan all day and a fiery appearance all night. But the cloud served an additional purpose. When it rose up from atop the Mishkan, it indicated to Bnei Yisroel that it was time to take apart the Mishkan, pack their belongings and move on. And when the cloud rested, Bnei Yisroel understood that they to were meant to stop and set up camp again.
The usually terse Torah seems to be spending an unusual number of words and space on the details of the journey, constantly repeating the cloud's lifting or lingering, indicating journeying or encamping. The Torah seems to be presenting every variation in the journey schedule when a simple, general statement, "When the cloud lifted, they would journey, and when the cloud lingered, they would encamp," would have conveyed the message. What is the purpose of this verbiage and these details?
Although these instructions seem specific to the travels in the desert, the Netivot Shalom notes that they are actually eternal instructions. In fact, when the Torah later says, "Hashem, your God shall you follow" (Devarim 13:5), Rabbi Wachtfogel zt”l quotes the Midrash that following the Cloud was a paradigm for following Hashem forever, even when there is no Cloud of Glory.
Using the Ramban, Rabbi Frand elaborates on the wordiness of the Torah. All these details indicate that Bnei Yisroel followed Hashem's command in all circumstances, whether they were comfortable or not, whether it was easy or stressful. They would pick up immediately and follow Hashem.
Why were these journeys necessary? Rabbi Druck zt”l explains that these journeys were meant to rectify the sin of the golden calf by repairing the underlying character failure that led to the sin. As Rabbi Druck explains, the sin of the golden calf was the result of impatience and impetuosity on the part of Bnei Yisroel. When, according to their calculations, Moshe Had not returned from the top of Har Sinai at the appointed time, they rushed to create a substitute, the golden calf. The process of repair for this egregious miscalculation began with the building of the Mishkan. Although the structure was completed in the month of Kislev, Hashem ordained that it is not dedicated and inaugurated until Nissan, a full four month later. Hashem was beginning to teach Bnei Yisroel patience, that the world functions on His schedule not on man's.
Rabbi Forst, in Step by Step, notes that the Hebrew word for patience is savlanus, and the word for a porter whose task is to carry all things as if they are his own is savol. This savlanus is the ability to tolerate and accept anything that comes your way, a quality that comes only through humility and peace of mind.
Acceptance does not negate hope. In fact, a Jew must constantly hope for salvation even in the direst circumstances. While he hopes, he still accepts that Hashem may not grant His request; while Hashem can do anything, that does not mean that He will do what you request. One must accept that Hashem will do what He deems best for that person. One must walk the fine line between acceptance and hope, write Rabbi Kahane, based on the writings of the Aish Kodesh who wrote of hope while in the Warsaw Ghetto before he was ultimately deported and killed in one of the concentration camps.
Each of us must search for and follow our own Cloud of Divine Providence. Sometimes it is obvious and visible "over the tent," but sometimes His presence is hidden. But it is still within us, leading us, if we look and listen.
In all of their journeys, Bnei Yisroel did not complain, even if they rested only overnight and the locations were challenging. Yet Bnei Yisroel constantly complained about even minor things, such as the absence of watermelons. How can we reconcile these behaviors? Rabbi Lugassi explains that when Bnei Yisroel could physically see Hashem's Presence and instructions, when the cloud started moving, there was no room for complaint. However, when the cloud just sits there, Bnei Yisroel become accustomed to it and ignore it, leaving him interested only in the immediate present. Rabbi Lugassi brings a metaphor of someone who has plans for a beautiful mansion. After a few days, e goes to the site and asks the builder if the house is ready. But only the foundation is being poured. A few weeks later, he again asks if the house is ready. Now the foundation is dry and the beams for the walls are being built. It takes time for the building to be complete, and each step must be completed, each part of the construction process must be done in its proper turn.
We are not even aware of Hashem's final plan, yet we must be patient and accept each step in the process, for Hashem has the blueprint and orchestrates each challenge for our benefit. Hashem does not forget us, even if we are impatient with the steps we need to follow for our growth. Only when we reach the world of truth, when we are no longer bound by time and space, will we understand the necessity of each step.
Nevertheless, in this world, being confronted with uncertainty about the future generates fear. In spite of this fear of the unknown, we are commanded to be tamim/whole/full of integrity with Hashem our God. Only by looking past the darkness into the light of knowledge that our future is totally in Hashem's hands, and trusting in Him, not feeling a need to consult with psychics and the like, can we be whole in the face of brokenness, writes Rabbi Kahane in A Fire in the Darkness.
Often, we can move from disappointment to hope by a simple reframing of an event, suggests Rabbi Lugasssi. For example, rather than being upset for being late and missing a bus, we can say we are early for the next bus.
Rav Wolbe zt”l suggests that our journeys and the different places we find ourselves in can easily refer to our spiritual journeys as well as our physical journeys. We may find some places easier for serving Hashem than others. But wherever we are, Hashem has put us there for a reason, and we must rise to the challenge. We often do not know the reason Hashem has put us in a particular place
Our Chazal say, "On the path that a man wants to go, [one] leads him. Rabbi Gamliel Rabinowitz interprets this adage somewhat differently. Does a man really go where he wants to go? [No.], he is led [where Hashem wants him to go]. It is all orchestrated by Hashem, just as the travels of Bnei Yisroel in the desert were orchestrated by Hashem, and Bnei Yisroel were led by Hashem's guiding clouds. On an even deeper level, Rabbi Lugassi reinterprets, "שויתי ה לנגדי תמיד " as, "I have Hashem with me even when He seems to be לנגדי/against me." Even in those situations, it is in the aspect of Hashem, compassion, that He is interacting with me. I must seek out His Divine hand.
Rabbi Eisenberger brings a homiletic perspective to our discussion. Just as the Mishkan was a symbolic mini representation of the world, so too is each of us a mini world. We each have times of bright fire and times of confusion and clouds in our lives. The clouds represent the challenges in our lives, challenges that will arise any time we begin a new project, from building the Mishkan to building a marriage. The challenges are proof that you are attempting something positive, and the negative forces are tying to subvert your attempts. "On the day the Mishkan was set up" refers to any day and any structure that is meant for sanctity. There will be outer challenges to that inner voice, clouds to cover the light.
With great insight into the human psyche, Rabbi Wolbe zt”l notes that we all go through dark, clouded periods in our lives, times of inner struggle. These are times when we are immobilized and feel we cannot move. This is time necessary for recovery and healing. It can take a day, a week, a month, or a year. In this vein, we should not tell anyone, especially a child, to "just get over it." Allow that time of rest to bring acceptance so that the cloud can lift.
Rabbi Kahane notes that being guided by the cloud and the fire is not a one-time phenomenon, but a constant. The pillar of cloud and the pillar of light were already there at the inception of our nation, leading us out of Egypt across the Red Sea. There the terminology is in the present, "And Hashem walks before them in a pillar of cloud by day to guide them... and a pillar of fire at night..."While the clouds imply darkness, fire itself is a symbol of din/ judgment. Nevertheless, it is with the compassionate attribute of Hashem that He constantly leads us through the fire. Hashem knows that despite the challenges along the way, indeed because of the challenges along the journey, we will grow. He has that faith in us. Within the judgment of fire, there is the light fire provides in the compassion of Hashem.
Like an infant in its mother's arms, we are completely dependent on Hashem. The fire in the darkness is Hashem leading us. We need patience and humility to accept that Hashem is building the proper mansion for our souls, but it takes time and effort. All along this journey of life, we must search for and follow the clouded signs Hashem sends us with the light of His fire within us. Let us train ourselves, suggest Rabbi Kahane; to notice the moments we can recognize Hashem's presence in our lives, to tell it to ourselves and to others until we clearly see His constant presence.
We have this concept concretized in the succah that celebrates the holiday when we were surrounded by the succah of the Clouds of Glory. Rabbi Pincus zt”l, citing the Ari Hakadosh zt”l, presents the image of the minimum required dimensions of a kosher succah; it must be two actual walls with a third at least as high as one fist. That image is the image of a hug, for when we walk into the succah, we are being embraced by Hakodosh Boruch Hu Himself, just as we were during our forty year journey in the desert. Just as He was with us then, accompanying us through His designated guides, the clouds and the fire, so does He accompany us each day on our life journey. Let us look for Him, accept Him, and follow, for after all He is holding us in His embrace.