Do We Need Mother’s Day? Plus Other Questions About Parents
Q. Do we need Mother’s Day? I like the attention and respect, but my husband retorts that people should be respectful and nice to their mothers and fathers every day in keeping with the Ten Commandments.
A. Both opinions have merit. Yes, Mother's Day is a "Hallmark holiday." It's silly and arbitrary and we shouldn't need it because people should show appreciation to their parents every day. But the reality is that most people don't appreciate their parents most of the time. If having a designated day, silly and arbitrary though it may be, helps some people to get it right for a change, then it's overall a good thing.
Rabbi Jack adds: This is not part of the original Q&A, but I'd like to add for readers that, even if you feel you honor your parents daily, if your mother is expecting you to recognize Mother's Day, it would be disrespectful for you to ignore it!
For those wondering about the halachic permissibility of observing Mother's Day given the Torah prohibition against copying the practices of other nations (Leviticus 18:3), the Rema (YD 178:1) notes that that only refers to things of idolatrous origin or that are performed for reasons of immorality. He specifically notes that שעושין משום כבוד או טעם אחר מותר - things that are done for reasons of honor or for other logical purposes are permitted. Mother's Day and Father's Day are, of course, observed for reasons of honor.
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Q. Is a child obligated to make sure his parent doesn't do an aveirah because of kibud av v'em? For example, if the father asks the child to help him do an aveirah, but it isn't an aveirah for the son to do this action (although I can’t think of a case where that would happen).
A. The answer is yes, one is so obligated, but it’s not because of kibud av v’eim.
There's a mitzvah to try to correct anyone whose behavior is inappropriate (Vayikra 19:17), not just a parent. And assisting anyone who's committing an aveirah is prohibited because of lifnei iveir (specifically, it's "mesayeia l'dvar aveira" if the person can commit the aveira without your help). Again, this is not limited to parents.
You said you couldn't think of an example; here's one: if the father is a nazir and the son isn't, it would be prohibited for the father to drink wine even though it's permitted to the son. It would be lifnei iveir to pour wine for the father in this case.
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Q. What should I say to someone observing their parent's yahrzeit?
A. "The neshama should have an aliyah."
Rabbi Jack's book Ask Rabbi Jack is available from Kodesh Press and on Amazon.com.