3,209. Giving Tzedakah With an Attitude
Hilchos Matnos Aniyim 10:3
A person who looks away from opportunities to give charity is detestable, just like an idolator is considered detestable. Regarding idolatry, Deuteronomy 13:14 tells us that “detestable men went out”; regarding one who looks away from charitable opportunities, Deut. 15:9 says, “Be careful that a detestable thought not arise in your heart.” Such a person is also considered evil as per Proverbs 12:10: “The mercies of evil people are cruel.” He is also considered a sinner, because the verse in Deuteronomy continues, “He will cry out against you to God and it will be considered a sin in you.” Hashem hears the cries of the needy, as we are told in various places. We must be very careful not to cause pained people to cry out because God has forged a covenant with them, as per Exodus 22:26: “When he cries out to Me, I will listen, because I am compassionate.”
Hilchos Matnos Aniyim 10:4
If someone gives charity to a needy person with a scowl and with his face downturned, he loses or ruins the merit of the act; this is so even if he gave him 1,000 gold coins. Rather, one must give charity with a smile and with joy, sympathizing with the recipient. We see this from Job 30:25: “Didn’t I cry for those facing difficulties; didn’t my soul feel sorrow for the destitute?” One should express words of sympathy and comfort, as per Job 29:13: “I would gladden a widow's heart.”