Middat Sedom - Selfish Behavior

It is forbidden for one to behave in an insensitive and uncompromising manner towards others, a character trait referred to as "middat sedom" in Talmudic literature. Middat sedom, as is alluded to in its name, refers to the evil manner in which the people of ancient Sodom behaved.[1] Although the Sodomites practiced all forms of immorality and wickedness, they were specifically condemned for their extremely evil manner towards others.

Besides referring to all manner of selfish conduct and disregard for others, the term middat sedom is largely used to describe "a refusal to accommodate others even when doing so presents no disadvantage or inconvenience to oneself". The reverse, an arrangement whereby one is able to help others without any inconvenience to oneself, is referred to as "zeh nehene v'zeh lo chaser" ("this one benefits while this one loses nothing").

The people of Sodom refused to perform acts of kindness with each other, and even more so with strangers, even where no loss, inconvenience, or effort was required on their part.[2] Not only is it forbidden for one to behave in this manner, but one can even be compelled to assist others when one will "lose nothing" from doing so. The halachic dispensation to force people to comply in such circumstances is referred to as "kofin al middat sedom" ("we coerce people when they behave in the manner of Sodom"). Somewhat related to the principle of middat sedom is the sharply censured attitude of "What's mine is mine".[3]

Among the many Talmudic examples of "zeh nehene v'zeh lo chaser" is the case where brothers are required to divide land among themselves which they inherited from their father. As it happened, one of the brothers owned a field which happened to be adjacent to the land now being divided between them. As such, this brother requested that he be allotted land which is closest to his field in order to allow for greater territorial continuity. Our sages teach us that the brothers must honor such a reasonable request and that everyone involved can be compelled ("kofin al middat sedom") to comply with it. This is a situation of "zeh nehene v'zeh lo chaser" and refusing to allow this brother to better benefit from his inheritance is nothing but "middat sedom".[4]

Another classic example of "kofin al middat sedom" is the case where one person made use of the property of another in a manner in which the property owner suffered no loss, inconvenience, or disadvantage as a result. In such a situation the property owner is not permitted to demand payment from the squatter for the use he made of the property. Of course the halacha would be different in the event that the property owner was intending to rent out the property, the squatter caused damage while using it, or if the squatter was told to vacate and failed to do so.[5]

Among the many proverbial "Aesop's Fables" tales is one entitled "The Dog and the Manger" which illustrates the concept of middat sedom quite nicely. As the story goes, there was once a dog that lay down to sleep in a manger. Upon awakening, he viciously prevented the other animals on the farm from eating any of the hay which he had slept upon, even though he was uninterested in eating it himself. As the ox in the story then fittingly quipped: "People often begrudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves."

Similarly, in the "Charlie Brown" cartoon series there is an episode in which Lucy happens to obtain Charlie Brown's favorite baseball card. She then indulges in teasing and taunting Charlie Brown over having acquired the card. Charlie Brown is visibly broken from this experience and leaves the scene. Moments later, Lucy decides that she really doesn’t want the card and simply throws it away.

According to some authorities, the prohibition on behaving in the manner of "middat sedom" is actually a full-fledged Torah prohibition.[6] Others maintain that the concept is rabbinic in origin.[7] Either way, it is clearly not the manner in which one imbued with a spirit of Torah should conduct oneself.[8]

[1] Bava Kamma 20; Bava Batra 12b. See also CM 174:1, 153:8.

[2] Ketubot 103a, Rashi.

[3] Avot 5:10; Eruvin 49a, Rashi; Bava Batra 12b, 168a.

[4] Bava Batra 12b.

[5] Bava Kama 21a; CM 363:6-8.

[6] Rabbeinu Tam cited in Tosfot, Bava Batra 12b.

[7] Ritzba cited in Tosfot, Bava Batra 12b.

[8] Vayikra 19:19; Devarim 6:18, 12:28, 16:20.