Death and Mourning

Q. “He saves the weak from the sword of the strong” (Job 5:15). Maybe Elifaz [Job’s friend who made that statement] should have seen a Nazi concentration camp.

A. Consider Mishlei 10:2: “Charity saves from death.” Does that mean that charitable people never die? Of course not. Something can be true but that doesn’t mean it has to be absolute. Everybody dies eventually.

The same is true here. Was the “final solution” successful? No. Because, as that chapter of Job teaches us, God does not allow the plans of the wicked to succeed. Did many people die in the camps? Yes. Many people also died under Roman, Syrian-Greek and Egyptian oppression. But did God ever allow the nation to be destroyed? Absolutely not. Individual people may die because of wicked deeds but in the big picture, the perpetrators are ultimately defeated.

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Q. When a holy Jew that lived a Torah life dies, does his body decompose less, more, or the same as one that did not do what he was supposed to do? Does the body of a Noahide decompose less, more, or the same as a pagan?

A. Thanks for your question. With the anecdotal exception of a very few extremely pious individuals who are said not to have decomposed, I think it's safe to assume that all people, Jewish and non-Jewish, average and righteous, tend to decompose at about the same rate.

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Q. My friend is visiting me from across the country. Her grandfather died in the night and she is trying to decide whether to stay here or go home. I told her I think it’s a mitzvah to go home and sit shiva with her family. Is this right? She is becoming religious and wants to do the right thing.

A. Thanks for your question, which was forwarded to my attention. One doesn't sit shiva for a grandparent, so she wouldn't be doing that, but it would not be inappropriate for her to go home in order to assist those who would be sitting shiva, to provide emotional support and to attend the funeral. (I don't know your friend or her relationship with her family, but of course their wishes should be taken into account, such as would they rather she stay where she is or return home.) But she would not personally be sitting shiva. 

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Q. What is the source for not taking something out of a shiva house?

A. Thanks for your question. The reason for the custom is because a shiva house is said to be under a "ruach ra'ah" (literally "an evil spirit," i.e., it's an inauspicious time). Some authorities say the custom only applies if the deceased died in the house, while others say that it has no halachic basis whatsoever. I'm not sure where the custom initially originated but it's cited in the Aruch HaShulchan (YD 376:11) and elsewhere.

Rabbi Jack's book Ask Rabbi Jack is available from Kodesh Press and on Amazon.com.