Resources for Kesubos 67
1. The גמרא says that נקדימון בן גוריון lost his wealth because he gave צדקה for his כבוד. The קובץ שיעורים in אות רכ"ד asks that the גמרא is פּסחים דף ח says that if someone does a מצוה for the purpose of the מצוה as well as for personal reasons they are considered a צדיק גמור. So for נקדימון בן גוריון to lose his wealth we would need to say that he had no כוונה for the מצוה at all and only did it for honor which is hard to hear. Rather, Rab Elchonon זצ"ל suggests that giving charity for כבוד, even if you also have in mind that it’s a מצוה, is for some reason worse than doing it for other side benefits. We see this from the beginning of בבא בתרא on דף י where the גמרא says that when נכרים give צדקה its considered a חטא for them since they give it להתפּאר. Interestingly, there is a תשובות הרשב"א in חלק א סימן תקפּא which is quoted by the דרכי משה in יו"ד סימן רמ"ז that says that if someone makes a donation of, for example, a house for a shul, that it is appropriate that the house have a plaque or inscription on it that says the name of the person who donated the shul since we find that the Torah publicizes when people do good things. Furthermore, it encourages others to do מצוות as well. That seems at first glance to me to be a contradiction to this קובץ שיעורים who says having כבוד in mind in addition to the מצוה is an עברה since one would think that the way it encourages people to do מצוות is that they hope to get recognition and honor as well. However, the רמ"א in סימן רמ"ט סעיף י"ג quotes both concepts in the same sentence! He says one must not be "מתפּאר" when giving צדקה and if he does he will get no שכר and will only get punished, but nonetheless if he donates something he should write his name on it so that it will be remembered that he donated it. How could the רמ"א write both in the same line?! Perhaps the answer is that there are two kinds of כבוד, one good and one bad. We always say כבוד is bad yet we daven for it in ברכת החודש and elsewhere. Rav Shraga Neuberger שליט"א once explained this as follows: Being recognized for what you’ve done and who you are is appropriate כבוד. Being honored for who you’re not is inappropriate כבוד. So if you are being מתפּאר over people then you must want to be recognized for someone you aren’t, but being recognized for what you’ve done is appropriate כבוד.
2. The גמרא brings a מחלוקת תנאים about what to do about a poor man who refuses to accept צדקה. רבי מאיר says you give him לשם הלוואה and then you give him לשם מתנה. The חכמים says you give him לשם מתנה and then you give him לשום הלוואה. The גמרא asks on the חכמים what they mean by “give him לשם מתנה” if we said he won’t take צדקה? The גמרא answers "לפתוח לו לשום מתנה". These words are a little unclear. The רי"ף says it mean you first offer it him as a gift, then if he won’t accept it you offer it to him as a loan and then you are מוחל the loan. The רד"ל (in the back of the גמרא) says that it sounds like the רי"ף paskened like the חכמים and understood that the חכמים aren’t really arguing with ר"מ but rather just adding that one must start by offering the money to the poor man as a gift even though we know he won’t accept it as a gift. The רמב"ם in הלכות מתנות עניים פּרק ז׳ הל׳ ט says that if a person won’t accept צדקה we trick him by offering it to him as a present or loan. At first glance that sounds like neither ר"מ nor the חכמים as theרמב"ם doesn’t sound like there is any order. The רד"ל explains that theרמב"ם paskened like the חכמים and understood that the person won’t accept charity from public funds but may accept something posed as simply a gift. Perhaps that means that the רמב"ם didn’t think there was a מחלוקת about the order as the רי"ף did. Rather, the רמב"ם understood that ר"מ only offered to trick the person with a loan which you will later be מוחל as a gift and the חכמים added that you should also try pretending it is just a gift and not charity from communal funds.
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