Kiddushin - Daf 31
- הקדים כיבוד אב לכיבוד אם, הקדים מורא אם למורא אב
Rebbe taught in a Baraisa: גלוי וידוע לפני מי שאמר והיה העולם – It is revealed and known before He Who spoke and the world came into being, שבן מכבד את אמו יותר מאביו – that a son naturally honors his mother more than his father, מפני שמשדלתו בדברים – because she sways him with pleasant words; לפיכך הקדים הקדוש ברוך הוא כיבוד אב לכיבוד אם – therefore, Hashem placed honoring a father before honoring a mother in the passuk. וגלוי וידוע לפני מי שאמר והיה העולם – And it is revealed and known before He Who spoke and the world came into being, שהבן מתיירא מאביו יותר מאמו – that a son naturally reveres his father more than his mother, מפני שמלמדו תורה – because he teaches him Torah; לפיכך הקדים הקדוש ברוך הוא מורא האם למורא האב – therefore, Hashem placed revering a mother before revering a father in the passuk.
- דמא בן נתינה
- Rebbe Eliezer was asked: עד היכן כיבוד אב ואם – What is the extent of the mitzvah of honoring one’s father and mother? He answered: Go and see what one idolator, Dama ben Nesinah, did in Ashkelon. The Sages once sought to purchase stones from him for the ephod of the Kohen Gadol, from which he would profit six hundred thousand gold dinars (an alternate version says eight hundred thousand), but the key to access the stones was under his sleeping father’s pillow, and Dama refused to disturb him. The next year, Hashem rewarded him with a parah adumah born into his herd. The Sages went to him to purchase it, and he said, “I know that if I would ask for all the money in the world for it, you would give it to me. However, I only ask for the amount I lost through honoring my father.” Rebbe Chanina said: ומה מי שאינו מצווה ועושה כך – If one who is not commanded to honor his parents and does so, receives such reward, מצווה ועושה על אחת כמה וכמה – then one who is commanded in their honor and does so, how much more so will he be rewarded! This kal vachomer is based on his principle that גדול מצווה ועושה – one who is commanded in a mitzvah and performs it is greater, ממי שאינו מצווה ועושה – than one who is not commanded in a mitzvah and performs it.איזהו מורא ואיזהו כיבוד
It was taught in a Baraisa: איזהו מורא ואיזהו כיבוד – What is appropriate reverence for parents, and what is appropriate honor for parents? מורא לא עומד במקומו ולא יושב במקומו – Reverence means one may not stand in his designated place, nor sit in his designated place, ולא סותר את דבריו ולא מכריעו – and one may not contradict his father’s words, nor may he weigh in on a disagreement between his father and another person. כיבוד מאכיל ומשקה – Honor means that one gives his father to eat and drink; מלביש ומכסה – he dresses and covers him; מכניס ומוציא – and he brings him in and takes him out.
