Nedarim - Daf 64
- Machlokes about opening בכבוד אביו ואמו and נולד
The ninth Perek begins with a machlokes about two types of openings to annul a neder. Rebbe Eliezer said: פותחין לאדם בכבוד אביו ואמו – We open for a person with the honor of his father and mother, meaning, we ask him if he would have made a neder had he known people would disgrace his father because of his treating nedarim lightly. The Chochomim do not allow such an opening to be used. The Mishnah adds that the Chochomim agree בדבר שבינו לבין אביו ואמו – that a [neder] made between him and his parents (e.g., he forbade his benefit to one of them) can be annulled based on their honor. The Chochomim’s reason, and why they agree in this case, will emerge from the Gemara. Rebbe Eliezer said further: פותחין בנולד -We open a neder with “nolad,” (lit. born), meaning an unexpected new development. The Chochomim disagree. The Mishnah gives several examples of nolad, such as if the person from whom he cannot benefit became a Torah scholar whose services he requires or married off a child and he wishes to partake of the feast. The vower says that had he known these developments would take place he would not have made the neder.
- The difference between כבוד אביו and כבוד המקום
In the Mishnah, Rebbe Tzadok stated that according to Rebbe Eliezer, if a father’s honor can be used as a pesach, we should also be able to open a neder בכבוד המקום – with the honor of Hashem, because vowing is a dishonor to Hashem. The Rabbis responded to him: אם כן אין נדרים – If so, there are no nedarim. The Gemara seeks to explain this phrase. Abaye interprets: אם כן, אין נדרים ניתרין יפה – If so, nedarim are not annulled properly. A person might falsely say he would not have made the neder had he realized the dishonor to Hashem, because he would be ashamed to say he would have made the neder regardless. Such a heter is invalid, and Rebbe Eliezer therefore agrees that such a pesach cannot be used. The Ran adds that the Chochomim disallow a pesach of a parent’s honor for the same reason; they fear that a person would be ashamed to declare he would make a neder despite the disgrace to his parents. Rava interpreted the phrase: אם כן אין נדרים נשאלין לחכם – If so, nedarim will not be asked to a chochom for a heter. If dishonor to Hashem can be used as a pesach, people will use it themselves without consulting a chochom, which is invalid. For this reason, Rebbe Eliezer does not accept a pesach based on Hashem’s honor. The Chochomim even invalidate a heter based on a parent’s honor for the same reason. The Ran suggests that Rebbe Eliezer holds that a parent’s honor is a valid pesach because oftentimes a neder does not cause them any dishonor, so a person is accustomed to consulting a chochom for a pesach in this regard.
- Dassan and Aviram were considered dead because they became impoverished
The Gemara asks for the source of Rebbe Eliezer’s opinion to allow a pesach of nolad, an unexpected development. Rav Chisda quotes the passuk where Hashem told Moshe to return to Egypt, despite his having made an oath to Yisro that he would not leave, because “כי מתו כל האנשים” - “the people seeking your life have died.” Since their dying is an unexpected development, we see that nolad is valid as a pesach. The Rabbonon respond that in fact, they did not die, for we find Dassan and Aviram challenging Moshe several times afterwards. Rather, they became impoverished and thus lost their influence to be able to threaten Moshe. (This is not nolad, because it is a relatively common occurrence). They are described as having died because it is one of four situations that a Baraisa describes as equivalent to death: A poor person, a metzora, a blind person, and someone without children.
