Resources for Kesubos daf 4

מראה מקומות

1.     The גמרא says that if the father of the חתן or mother of the כלה dies at the wedding we put the מת in a side room and conduct the wedding. Afetr the בעילת מצוה we bury the מת and then have שבעת ימי משתה. Many ראשונים (רא"ש, רמב"ן,רשב"א, ריטב"א, ר"ן) ask that this should be a proof against the שיטת הגאונים and the רמב"ם  that say that the first day of אבילות is דאורייתא--if it was דאורייתא then we should have said that the first day of אבילות is דוחה the מצוה דרבנן of שבעת ימי המשתה. There are many תירוצים to this proof. The רא"ש brings from the רמ"ה that the first day of שבעת ימי המשתה is also דאורייתא so it is no less important than אבילות. The רשב"א answers that the question is only if you assume like רש"י that the מת is buried immediately since אבילות is only דאורייתא if the death and burial are done on the same day. As such, he suggests that according to the גאונים he would be buried the next day. The ר"ן says that when the חכמים allowed for the שבעת ימי משתה they were being עקור דבר מן התורה בשב ואל תעשה. In other words, they did not require you to sit on the floor, take off your shoes, etc. He says that according to this you are not allowed to do any activity of שמחה. The חידושי אנשי שם in שבת דף י בדפּי הרי"ף brings this ר"ן and asks that according to the ר"ן how can the חתן do things בקום ועשה that an אבל can’t do (like wear shoes)? He does not give an answer.

In explaining the above, the  קובץ הערות in סימן ס"ט brings three fundamental חקירות regarding עקירת דבר מן התורה בשב ואל תעשה (we discussed this in יבמות דף צ): 1) What is שב ואל תעשה?—Do we look at your actions or at the איסור itself? For example, when you come to the עזרה on the שלש רגלים without a קרבן ראיה, was that an עברה that is done בקום ועשה since you walked in empty handed and the פּסוק says ולא יראו פּני ריקם or is the lack of having a קרבן a שב ואל תעשה? 2) How did they remove it?—Did they truly make the מצוה nonexistent or do they only have the right to compete with it and say “we the חכמים say not to do it” in which case we are stuck between the מצות חכמים  and the מצות אבילות and have no choice but to  שב ואל תעשה? 3)Why can the חכמים only be עוקר בשב ואל תעשה? —Is it because it is intrinsically less חמור or simply by default since the חכמים say not to do it and the Torah said to do it so you must be שב ואל תעשה? He explains all three חקירות are linked. If you say they have the power to actually remove a מצוה בשב ואל תעשה then it is מסתבר that they only have the right to remove a lesser מצוה but not a more חמור one of קום ועשה. Therefore, when we look to see if something is called שב ואל תעשה we would look at whether the איסור itself is violated passively and not necessarily at your actions (so walking into the עזרה empty handed would be שב ואל תעשה). Had the ר"ן learned like that צד  then he would have said אבילות in general is removed completely so one could even do acts of שמחה. However, the ר"ן seems to hold that the חכמים never removed the מצוה at all but just said not to do it. If so, we could only ignore אבילות with actions that are בשב ואל תעשה.

2.     The גמרא says the חתן is בועל בעילת מצוה ופּורש. The בעל המאור in מו"ק דף י"ד ע"ב בדפּי הרי"ף points out that the חתן is an אונן, so how can he do the בעילת מצוה? It must be that an אונן is מותר in תשמיש המטה. The רמב"ן in מלחמות there disagrees and says our case is a special קולא due to the circumstances but normally an אונן is אסור בתשמיש המטה.