Resources for Kesubos daf 3

1.     The גמרא says that we should explain to the צנועות that אונס is permitted. There is a very important תוספות here in ד"ה ולדרוש who asks why should אונס allowed? Isn’t this one of the ג חמורות which you must give up your life for? He brings ר"ת who says that this isn’t a case of גילוי ערוית since ביאת עכו"ם doesn’t count as a ביאה and it isn’t גילוי עריות. He also brings the ריב"ם who disagrees and says the reason they don’t need to give up their lives is because they aren’t doing an action and are just קרקע עולם. The רמב"ן and ריטב"א give a third answer: you can’t tell someone they must give up their life when doing that won’t even stop the עברה from happening. In this case, even if she says she would rather die the גוי can still be מאנס her.

Based on his understanding, ר"ת allowed a Jewish woman who was נבעלת לגוי when she was an married to marry the גוי after her husband died and the גוי converted because her ביאה  with him never made her אסור to him to him since ביאת גוי is כביאת בהמה. The ריב"ם assumed this meant she was permitted to remain married to her husband as well, and he brings many seemingly clear proofs from all over ש"ס that she is not allowed to stay married to her husband. The תרומת הדשן in סימן רי"ט says it is a huge דוחק to assume that ר"ת disagreed with all these ראיות. Therefore, he is נוטה to say that even ר"ת would agree that she is אסור to her husband since the “איסור לבעל” applies to Jews. Nonetheless, she is מותר לבועל since the “איסור לבועל” doesn’t apply to the גוי (it isn’t part of שבע מצוות). The חתם סופר explains it differently. He says that even though being נבעלת לגוי is like a ביאת בהמה, she is still אסור on her husband because she was “מעלה מעל באשה”. What he is likely referring to is a מהרי"ק in קס"ז who says that if a woman didn’t know that זנות was אסור and is מזנה, she is still אסור to her husband even though she is a שוגגת because it is מעלה באשה. In other words, being אסור to your husband has nothing to do with whether it was an אונס or even if it was מותר. It has to do with whether you did something that was an affront to your husband. Therefore, when she is נבעלת לגוי she becomes אסור to her husband even if it is a ביאת בהמה because she is still מעלה מעל באשה. The פּני יהושע has a third approach. He suggests that ר"ת holds she is not אסורה לבעלה מדאורייתא but agrees she is אסורה לבעלה מדרבנן.

2.     The גמרא understood originally that the גזרה was that any woman who got married on Wednesday would be killed. The גמרא then asks why didn’t חז"ל just be עוקר their תקנה. The שו"ת הריב"ש in סימן שע"ג asks that there is a הלכה that in a שעת השמד one must give up their life for any הלכה—even for a Jewish custom (ערקתא דמסאנה). If so, why should חז"ל undo their תקנה? She should be מוסר נפש! He answers that the rule of שעת השמד only applies to the person who is asked to violate the הנהגה but not to חז"ל who in instituted the law. Therefore, they can simply undo it. However, the פּני יהושע asks that if so the whole concept of ערקתא דמסאנה would never apply since חז"ל could just undo the תקנה. Rather, he answers that the דין of giving up your life for any הלכה during a שעת השמד only applies where they tell you to do something wrong בקום ועשה. However, if they say just don’t do something (like don’t get married on Wednesday), then it is not יהרג ואל יעבור  to do so. 

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