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מראה מקומות
1. The משנה says that a בתולה must get married on Wednesday so the husband can come to ב"ד on Thursday in case he doesn’t find the בתולים. תוספות in ד"ה שאם asks why we need to be so concerned about the lack of בתולים when there is a ספק ספיקא which would allow most women to stay married anyway (ספק if it happened before אירוסין and ספק if it was באונס)? תוספות suggests that it is just a לא פּלוג from a case of a כהן (where אונס wont help). However, he brings רש"י who says the purpose of coming to ב"ד is to get the word out so that if there are עדים who know this lady was מזנה ברצון they will come to ב"ד to testify. In חידושי חתם סופר (בתרא) ד"ה שאם, the חתם סופר says that the basis of the מחלוקת רש"י ותוספות is whether in a case of ספק ספיקא we require a person to be מברר the ספק if he can or not. תוספות holds you do not need to be מברר the ספק even if you can and רש"י holds you need to be מברר the ספק which is why we need the husband to come to ב"ד to get the word out. The מחלוקת about whether you need to be מברר a ספק ספיקא is a מחלוקת brought by the ש"ך in יו"ד סימן ק"י ס"ק ל"ו. It is important to note that the פּרי מגדים there points out that the מחלוקת is only where it is difficult to be מברר the ספק like in our case. However, where it is very easy (like you just need to ask someone what happened) then everyone would agree that you are obligated to be מברר the ספק.
2. The גמרא brings that after twelve months from the time of אירוסין the husband is חייב במזונות whether he had a חופּה with his wife or not. There are several fascinating חקירות brought by the אחרונים in this regard. The ברכת שמואל in סימן א asks how we view this payment of מזונות that the בעל must do: is it just a קנס that חז"ל made which we would view as a חוב בעלמא or is it that חז"ל said that the actual חיוב מזונות starts now? The נפקא מינה is whether making a נדר to make her אסור on himself would get him out of paying as a נדר can get you out of a general שיעבוד but not from the husbands חיוב מזונות. Similar to the above, the אור שמח in הלכות אישות פּרק י׳ הל׳ י"ט asks whether the husband gets her מעשה ידים during this time? If it is just a קנס then he is not entitled to any מעשה ידים. However, if it is the חיוב מזונות מחמת אישות starting early then perhaps he is entitled to her מעשה ידים as they normally go together. The אור שמח brings the שיטה מקובצת who quotes the ריטב"א here who says that the husband does get the מעשה ידים, but the רא"ש in החולץ says he does not get her מעשה ידים. The רא"ש explains that the reason the husband normally gets מעשה ידים is so there shouldn’t be איבה. He argues that if they aren’t really married then we don’t need to be worried about איבה. Both ראשונים sounded like they viewed it not as a קנס but rather as the regular חיוב מזונות.
3. The גמרא discusses whether פּירסה נדה is an excuse for the husband to not have to pay מזונות or not. The clear indication is that if a woman is a נדה then she can’t get married and have a חופּה. The ר"ן here says this is a support for the רמב"ם ’s view in הלכות אישות פּרק י׳ הל׳ ב that a חופּת נדה does not work. חופּה requires יחוד הראוי לביאה and a נדה is obviously not ראוי לביאה. However, many ראשונים disagree with this and say that חופּה is just a הכנסה לרשותו and can be done when she is a נדה. The ר"ן explains that our גמרא is not a proof to the רמב"ם. The reason the husband may not have to pay מזונות if his wife is a נדה is because חז"ל simply didn’t require him to marry her under those circumstances and allowed him to wait till she becomes טהורה.
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