Kesubos - Daf 63

  • רבי עקיבא – שלי ושלכם שלה היא

The Gemara on Daf 62b begins the story of Rebbe Akiva’s background as a shepherd for Ben Kalba Savua, who Rashi explains was one of the wealthiest men in Yerushalayim. Anyone who entered his house hungry like a כלב – a dog, left שבע – satisfied. When his daughter saw that Rebbe Akiva was modest and had good midos, she asked him if he would be willing to go to the Beis Midrash to learn if she would marry him. When he said yes, they married in secret, and she sent him away. When her father found out, he threw her out of the house, and made a neder prohibiting her to benefit from his possessions. The Gemara here, continues with the story of his return after twelve years, and when he overheard her say to another woman that she would send him back for another twelve years, he took it as permission, and went back. When he returned and brought twenty-four thousand talmidim with him, she came out, fell on her face, and started kissing his feet. When his attendants tried to push her away, Rebbe Akiva told them to leave her alone. שלי ושלכם שלה היא – The Torah that is mine and that is yours, belong to her. Rebbe Akiva ended up annulling his father-in-law’s vow, and their daughter ended up doing the same with Ben Azzai.

  •  המורדת – מתשמיש או ממלאכה

The next Mishnah states: המורדת על בעלה פוחתין לה מכתובתה שבעה דינרין בשבת – If a woman rebels against her husband, we deduct from her kesubah seven dinarim a week. Rebbe Yehudah says: שבעה טרפעיקין – Seven trapaikin. The Gemara brings a machlokes regarding what she is rebelling from. Rav Huna says: מתשמיש המטה – from engaging in marital relations. Rebbe Yose b’Rebbe Chanina says: ממלאכה – from performing work. After some analysis, the Gemara redefines Rebbe Yose bar Chanina’s position. Everybody agrees that she is considered a moredes when she rebels from engaging in marital relations. They disagree with regard to doing melachah. Rav Huna holds that she is not considered a moredes, since a woman has the right to refuse getting support from her husband and not work for the husband, whereas Rebbe Yose b’Rebbe Chanina holds that a woman who rebels from doing work is also a moredes.

  •  היכי דמיא מורדת

The Gemara asks: היכי דמיא מורדת – What is the case of a “woman who rebels” which Rashi explains is the woman who is pressured to return to her husband by waiting with the divorce and reducing her kesubah each week? Ameimar said: דאמרה בעינא ליה ומצערנא ליה – When she says, “I want him as a husband, but I wish to make him suffer.” This is because he insulted her or wronged her in some way. אבל אמרה מאיס עלי לא כייפינן לה – But if she says, “He is repulsive to me,” which Rashi explains means, that she does not want him nor her kesubah, we do not force her. Mar Zutra says that even if she says that he is repulsive to her, כייפינן לה – we force her. An incident is brought where Mar Zutra forced a woman who said her husband was repulsive to her, to stay, and when she returned to her husband, she bore him a son who became Rebbe Chanina ben Sura. The Gemara says that this does not necessarily support Mar Zutra’s position, התם סייעתא דשמיא הוה – there it was siyata d’Shomaya. Typically, a woman who finds her husband repulsive does not have a change of attitude and is beyond reconciliation.