Kesubos - Daf 57

  • The source for giving the kallah twelve months to prepare herself for the wedding

The next Mishnah states: נותנין לבתולה שנים עשר חודש משתבעה הבעל לפרנס את עצמה – A besulah is given twelve months from when her husband told her to prepare for the wedding, in order to prepare herself, וכשם שנותנין לאשה כך נותנין לאיש לפרנס את עצמו – And just as the woman is given twelve months, so too the man is given twelve months to provide for himself. The Gemara asks what the source is for giving the kallah twelve months, and answers that the passuk in the parshah of Rivka going back with Eliezer, states: "ויאמר אחיה ואמה תשב הנערה אתנו ימים או עשור" – Her brother and mother said, “Let the naarah remain with us yamim or ten.” What is “yamim”? It cannot mean “two days,” for people do not suggest that one remains ten days if they were already refused a two-day request. Rather, “yamim” means שנה – a year, as it is written in the passuk: "ימים תהיה גאלתו" – a year shall be its redemption. The passuk above means that Lavan and his mother were requesting that she stay a year, or at least ten months.

  • קטנה בין היא ובין אביה יכולין לעכב

Rebbe Zeira said: A Baraisa taught: קטנה בין היא ובין אביה יכולין לעכב – In the case of a ketanah, both she and her father may delay the wedding, which Rashi explains to mean that they may do so until she becomes an adult. The Gemara says that while it is understandable that she may delay the wedding, as the mefarshim explain, because as a ketanah she is not ready for marital relations or to take care of a household, but why is the father allowed to delay it? If it is acceptable to her, what difference does it make to the father? The Gemara answers: סבר השתא לא ידעה – He reasons that now she does not know the difficulties of marriage, למחר מימרדא ונפקא ואתיא ונפלה עילואי – and tomorrow she will rebel against her husband and leave him, and she will come back home and fall on me. Rashi explains that he will have to support her until she becomes an adult and then have to provide her with another set of jewelry.

  • Why an arusah to a Kohen does not eat terumah during the twelve months

The Mishnah stated: הגיע זמן ולא נישאו אוכלות משלו ואוכלות בתרומה – If the appointed time arrived and they were not married, they eat of the husbands’ food, and if the husband is a Kohen, they may eat terumah. Ulla said: דבר תורה ארוסה בת ישראל אוכלת בתרומה – According to the Torah, a Yisrael’s daughter who is an arusah to a Kohen has the right to eat terumah, for it is stated: "וכהן כי יקנה נפש קנין כספו הוא יאכל בו" – And if a Kohen shall acquire a person, an acquisition of his money, he shall eat of it, referring to terumah, and a woman who is mekudeshes is considered a קנין כספו – an acquisition of money. What is the reason that the Chochomim said that she may not eat terumah? They were concerned,שמא ימזגו לה כוס בבית אביה ותשקה לאחיה ולאחותה – perhaps they will pour a cup of terumah wine for her in her father’s house, and she will give her brother and sister, who are not Kohanim, to drink from it. Rav Shmuel bar Yehudah said: משום סימפון – It is because of the possibility of a nullification which will retroactively invalidate the kiddushin. Rashi explains that he might find a blemish in her which indicates that the kiddushin was carried out with a mistaken assumption, and she will have eaten terumah unlawfully.