Yevamos - Daf 63
The majority of this Daf deals with the topic of marriage.
- A wife makes a man whole and is his עזר כנגדו
The Gemara brings seven statements that were taught by Rebbe Elazar. Among them are:
- כל אדם שאין לו אשה אינו אדם – Any man who does not have a wife is not a whole man, for the passuk states, "זכר ונקבה בראם...ויקרא את שמם אדם" – He created them male and female…and He called their name Man.
- What is the meaning of that which is written, "אעשה לו עזר כנגדו" – I will make him a helpmate opposite him? זכה עוזרתו לא זכה כנגדו – If a man is zocheh, she helps him. If he is not zocheh, she opposes him. The Gemara relates that once Rebbe Yose met Eliyahu Hanavi and he asked him, in what way does a wife help a man? Eliyahu answered, אדם מביא חיטין חיטין כוסס – A man brings home wheat, does he chew and swallow the raw wheat kernels? Or he brings home flax, does he wear the flax? Of course not. Rather his wife takes the materials and then turns them into finished products. לא נמצאת מאירה עיניו ומעמידתו על רגליו – Does it not then come out that she illuminates his eyes and stands him on his feet?
- ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה
Rav was once departing from his uncle Rebbe Chiya, and Rebbe Chiya said to him: רחמנא ליצלך ממידי דקשה ממותא – May the Merciful One save you from the thing that is worse than death. Rav wondered if there really was something that is worse than death, and when he went out to investigate he discovered the passuk, "ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה" – And I have found more bitter than death, the woman. The Gemara goes on to relate that Rav’s wife would constantly aggravate him. When he asked for lentils, she would prepare him peas, and when he asked for peas, she would prepare him lentils. When Rav asked Rebbe Chiya why he would buy and wrap gifts for his wife, who also aggravated him, Rebbe Chiya answered, דיינו שמגדלות בנינו ומצילות מן החטא – It is enough that they raise our children and save us from sin. The Gemara brings the custom done in Eretz Yisroel, that when a man would marry, they would ask him, "מצא" או "מוצא" – Did you marry a good wife or a bad wife? “Matza” as it is written, "מצא אשה מצא טוב" – He who has found a wife has found goodness. Or “Motze” as it is written, "ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה" – And I have found more bitter than death, the woman.
- כל מי שאינו עוסק בפריה ורביה
It was taught in a Baraisa: Rebbe Eliezer said: כל מי שאין עוסק בפריה ורביה כאילו שופך דמים – Whoever does not engage in the mitzvah of procreation is regarded as if he spilled blood, for after the passuk that states: "שפך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך" – Whoever sheds the blood of a man, by man shall his blood be shed, it is written, "ואתם פרו ורבו"- and as for you, be fruitful and multiply. Rebbe Yaakov says: כאילו ממעט הדמות – he is regarded as if he had diminished the Divine image, for after the passuk that states: "כי בצלם אלקים עשה את האדם" – For in the image of G-d, He made Man, it is written, "ואתם פרו ורבו" – and as for you, be fruitful and multiply. When Ben Azzai said that a man who does not procreate causes both, the spilling of blood and the diminishment of the Divine image, his colleagues questioned him on why he was not married. He answered, ומה אעשה שנפשי חשקה בתורה אפשר לעולם שיתקיים על יד אחרים – What else can I do? For my soul craves Torah. The world can be preserved through others.
