Going to the Mikva Together

The Talmud rules that it is forbidden to see one's father, father-in-law, step-father, or one's sister's husband naked.[1] Although one might be led to believe otherwise, the fundamental halacha is actually in accordance with this view.[2] The reason for this enactment is in order to prevent a person from having any improper thoughts.[3] Moreover, in the case of one's father, ensuring to never see him naked also demonstrates honor and respect for him.[4] It is also forbidden to see one's rabbi naked.[5] If, however, any of these individuals is in need of assistance when naked, it is permitted to assist them in any way, even if it means seeing their private areas.[6] So too, one is not required to leave the mikva area if an individual that one is generally not permitted to see naked unexpectedly arrives.[7]

One will readily note that today’s widespread practice of men going to the mikva together, including fathers and sons, seems to contradict this halacha. Indeed, fathers and sons (and others mentioned above) routinely get dressed and undressed together in the open areas of the mikva. It is also not uncommon for them to immerse together. This is because many mikva pools nowadays are usually large enough to allow a number of people to immerse at the same time. It seems that there is a blatant disregard for the prohibition against seeing one’s father, and others mentioned above, naked. At first glance, there is no apparent justification for this phenomenon.[8]

A number of authorities have attempted to rationalize today's practice of everyone undressing and immersing in the mikva together, regardless of their relationship. It is argued that today’s mikvas are different than they were in the Talmudic era. In ancient times, the mikvas and undressing areas were much smaller than they are today. This often forced people to rub up against each other and to bump into one another in the mikva. In such circumstances, there are certainly grounds for concern that this could lead to improper thoughts. Nowadays, however, since mikvas are much larger than they once were, there is little concern that people will rub up against each other or bump into one another while undressing or even when immersing in the mikva.[9]

It is also suggested that the concern for improper thoughts is really only an issue when two people are alone together and both are naked. However, when there are many people present in one area who are naked at the same time, as is the case today, there is less reason for concern.[10] There are also grounds to suggest that the original decree against bathing with one's father only applied to saunas, and the like, and not to bodies of water. This is because water is considered to be a covering of sorts. Indeed, one should quickly enter the bath or mikva after getting undressed in order to “cover” oneself from the view of others while in the water. There is little concern that one will have improper thoughts in the short period of time between undressing and immersing, and vice versa.[11]

One should make an effort to cover one's private area whenever and however possible. This allows for additional grounds for leniency to be undressed in front of those who it is otherwise forbidden.[12] Indeed, it seems that in earlier generations they would wear some kind of covering or pants when in the mikva area in order to cover themselves before and after immersion.[13] Ultimately, however, it remains meritorious to try to avoid seeing those whom one should not see naked when at the mikva.[14]

It appears that, historically, there were never any restrictions or reservations on women being naked in the presence of other women -- even with close relatives.[15] There are a number of reasons why this might be so. Recall that the ban against a man seeing his father -- and other relatives -- naked is to prevent any improper thoughts, and by extension, to prevent an accidental (“wasted”) seminal emission. As women are not subject to the concerns of seminal emissions, there is no need to restrict who they may see naked at the bathhouse. So too, the emotional and psychological issues of women seeing each other naked are different than those of men, which may warrant more leniency, as well. Nevertheless, a woman should certainly consider issues of propriety and kibbud av va’em (if applicable), before seeing other women naked.

On a related note, there is some discussion whether one is permitted to perform a tahara on one’s father or father-in-law. It is argued that since the body is exposed during the tahara, it is similar to the halacha of immersing in a mikva with one’s father or father-in-law, and should therefore be avoided accordingly. On the other hand, it is argued that a person is very unlikely to have inappropriate thoughts at such a time of intense mourning. So too, perhaps performing the tahara on one’s father or father-in-law is actually a way to honor them. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein discusses the issue but does not issue a definitive ruling. Rather, he concludes that local custom should be followed, and when in doubt, stringency is in order. It is permitted for a grandchild to perform a tahara on his grandfather unless local custom dictates otherwise.[16]

[1] Pesachim 51a.

[2] Rambam, Hilchot Issurei Biah 21:16; Rema, EH 23:6; Pitchei Teshuva, EH 23:5; Elef Hamagen 606:19.

[3] Rashi, Pesachim 51a; Beit Shmuel, EH 23:5.

[4] Pesachim 51a, Rashi, Meiri.

[5] YD 242:16; Beit Shmuel, EH 23:5; Chelkat Mechokek, EH 23:5; Minchat Yitzchak 4:62.

[6] Semachot 12:12; YD 242:16.

[7] Rema, YD 242:16.

[8] Pitchei Teshuva, EH 23:5; Aruch Hashulchan, EH 23:8; Shevet Halevi 7:202.

[9] YD 242:42; Aruch Hashulchan, EH 23:8; Shu”t Ba’alei Hatosfot 79.

[10] Kinyan Torah 2:34.

[11] See Minhag Yisrael Torah, OC 260:3.

[12] YD 242:16; Rema, EH 23:6; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 72:13.

[13] Pitchei Teshuva, EH 23:5.

[14] Lehorot Natan 1:61; Minchat Yitzchak 4:62; Shevet Halevi 7:202.

[15] Ketubot 75a, 75b.

[16] Igrot Moshe, YD 2:147. See also Gesher Hachaim p. 94.