Siman - Moed Katan Daf 27
- Mourning and burial practices instituted out of concern for the honor of the poor
The Gemara brings Baraisos that explain how several minhagim regarding aveilus were changed due to sensitivity to the poor. Included among them were:
- Originally the wealthy would bring food to the mourner’s house in baskets of silver and gold and the poor in baskets of peeled willow branches, and the poor would feel embarrassed. They instituted that everyone should bring the food in baskets of peeled willow branches.
- Originally, the costs of burying the deceased were more difficult on relatives than his death, to the point that relatives would leave him and run away. The mefarshim explain that the wealthy would bury their loved ones in expensive shrouds. The poor felt embarrassed that they could not afford such an expense. עד שבא רבן גמליאל ונהג קלות ראש בעצמו ויצא בכלי פשתן – Until Rabban Gamliel came and treated himself lightly by being buried in plain linen garments. ונהגו העם אחריו לצאת בכלי פשתן – The people followed his example and were buried in plain linen garments.
- One should not mourn excessively over his dead
Rav Yehudah said in the name of Rav: כל המתקשה על מתו יותר מדאי על מת אחר הוא בוכה – Anyone who mourns excessively over his dead will come to cry over another deceased. The Gemara brings the story of a woman in Rav Huna’s neighborhood who had seven sons. When one of them died, she wept excessively, and Rav Huna sent her a message to not do so. When she did not listen, he told her that if she listens to him, all will be fine. But if not, does she want to prepare shrouds for another son? Eventually her next son died, followed by the remaining five sons. In the end he told her that she was preparing for her own demise, and she died. The passuk states, "אל תבכו למת ואל תנדו לו" – Do not cry for a deceased and do not bemoan for him, which is understood to mean, do not bemoan beyond the appropriate measure. What are the appropriate measures? שלשה ימים לבכי ושבעה להספד ושלשים לגיהוץ ולתספורת – Three days for weeping, seven days for eulogizing, and thirty days for not ironing nor cutting the hair. From that point and on, Hakadosh Boruch Hu says, "אי אתם רחמנים בו יותר ממני" – You are not more compassionate than I am.
- The sword in front of the avel
Rebbe Levi said, אבל שלשה ימים הראשונים יראה את עצמו כאילו חרב מונחת לו בין שתי יריכותיו – For the first three days an avel should see himself as if a sword is lying between his thighs, meaning that he too may be facing imminent death. משלשה עד שבעה כאילו מונחת לו כנגדו בקרן זוית – From the third to the seventh day, he should see himself as though it is lying opposite him in the corner. מכאן ואילך כאילו עוברת כנגדו בשוק – From this point on he should see himself as though the sword is passing in front of him in the street. Tosafos says that this refers to the twelve-month period of mourning.
