Siman - Moed Katan Daf 22

• When shivah begins for those not attending the burial

The Gemara discusses when shivah begins. Rava told the people of Machoza: אתון דלא אזליתו בתר ערסא – Those of you who do not follow the coffin to its place of burial, מכי מהדריתו אפייכו מבבא דאבולא אתחילו מנו – when you turn your faces away from the gates of the entrance of the city to go home, begin to count shivah. Rashi explains that the minhag was for the body to be taken from Bavel to Eretz Yisroel for burial. Those who escorted it until Eretz Yisroel would begin shivah after סתימת הגולל – when the top of the aron is closed over it, and those who did not escort the deceased all the way to burial, would begin their shivah as soon as they took leave of the body, meaning, at the gates of the entrance of the city, even though the burial may not take place for a few days.

• The Gemara clarifies differences in aveilus for one’s parents versus for other relatives

It was stated in a Baraisa: על כל המתים כולן מסתפר לאחר שלשים יום – When mourning for all relatives, aside from one’s father or mother, one may cut his hair after thirty days, על אביו ועל אמו עד שיגערו בו חביריו – but when mourning for his father or mother, he may not cut his hair until his friends reprimand him for growing his hair so long. על כל המתים כולן נכנס לבית השמחה לאחר שלשים יום – When mourning for all relatives, aside from his father or mother, one may enter a house of celebration after thirty days, על אביו ואמו לאחר שנים עשר חדש – but for his father or mother, he may not enter until after twelve months. Rabbah bar bar Chanah said: When the Baraisa permitted a mourner, for someone other than a parent, to enter a house of celebration after thirty days, it was referring to שמחת מריעות – a simchah of friendship, which Rashi defines as a nice meal that friends make for one another, but not to a seudah of simchah, such as a chasunah. The Gemara challenges Rabbah bar bar Chanah with a Baraisa that implies one is permitted to enter a formal simchah such as a chasunah and remains with the kasheh.

• The difference between kriah for one’s parents versus other relatives

It was taught in a Baraisa: על כל המתים כולן קורע טפח על אביו ואמו עד שיגלה את לבו – For all deceased relatives, aside from one’s father or mother, one does kriah a tefach long, but for a father or mother one does kriah until he exposes his heart. Rebbe Abahu said that the passuk which is the source for a minimum shiur of a tefach is: "ויחזק דוד בבגדיו ויקרעם" – and Dovid grabbed his garments and rent them. ואין אחיזה פחות מטפח – and the term “grabbing” is not used for a grabbing less than a tefach. The Baraisa continues: על כל המתים כולן אפילו לבוש עשרה חלוקין אינו קורע אלא עליון – For all deceased relatives, aside from one’s father and mother, even if one is wearing ten shirts, he only does kriah on the outer one. על אביו ועל אמו קורע את כולן – But for one’s father and mother, one does kriah on all of them.