Siman - Moed Katan Daf 21
- Machlokes when is it forbidden for an avel to wear tefillin
A machlokes was brought in a Baraisa regarding when it is forbidden for an avel to wear tefillin. Rebbe Eliezer holds that he is forbidden for the first three days of aveilus, but starting from the third day, and including the third day itself, he may wear tefillin, ואם באו פנים חדשות אינו חולץ – and if new people arrived on the third day, he does not remove his tefillin. Rashi explains that he need not be concerned that people who do not know that a few days of shivah have passed, will suspect that he is wearing tefillin on the first two days. Rebbe Yehoshua says that is forbidden to wear tefillin for the first two days, but starting from the second day, and including the second day itself, he may wear tefillin, ואם באו פנים חדשות חולץ – and if new people came on the second day, he must remove the tefillin, for people might suspect that it is the first day of shivah. Rav Masnah said that Rebbe Eliezer’s reasoning is based on the passuk, "ויתמו ימי בכי אבל משה" – and the days of tearful mourning for Moshe were completed. Days, implies two days. Rav Aina said that Rebbe Yehoshua’s reasoning is based on the passuk: And I will make the land as if in mourning for an only son, "ואחריתה כיום מר" – and its end like a bitter day. This implies that the most bitter mourning lasts for one day.
- An avel is forbidden to greet others the first three days of shivah
It was taught in a Baraisa: אבל שלשה ימים הראשונים אסור בשאילת שלום – An avel, the first three days of shivah, is forbidden to greet others, from the third day until the seventh, משיב ואינו שואל – he may respond to a greeting but may not initiate a greeting, and from then on, he may greet others and respond to greetings. The Gemara brings a conflicting Baraisa that relates that when Rebbe Akiva’s sons died, נכנסו כל ישראל והספידום הספד גדול – all of Yisroel entered and eulogized them greatly, and when they were about to leave, Rebbe Akiva stood on a large bench and said: אחינו בית ישראל שמעו – Our brothers, the House of Yisroel, listen to me. Even had I buried two married sons, I would have been comforted by the great honor you have given me. For if you came to honor Akiva, הרי כמה עקיבא בשוק – behold there are many Akivas in the marketplace whom you do not honor in such a way. Rather, you came because you said, "תורת אלקיו בלבו" – The Torah of his G-d is in his heart, and you wanted to give honor to the Torah. All the more then is your reward doubled. לכו לבתיכם לשלום – Go to your homes in peace. Rashi explains that this is a parting greeting, even though he was just starting shivah. The Gemara answers כבוד רבים שאני – Showing kavod for the public is different and is mutar the first three days of shivah.
- Greeting an avel after sheloshim and after twelve months
The Gemara brought a Baraisa that stated that once sheloshim has passed, one may greet an avel in an ordinary way and does not offer condolences, and then brings a conflicting Baraisa that states that if one meets an avel during the twelve months of aveilus, מדבר עמו תנחומין ואינו שואל בשלומו – he offers him condolences and does not greet him, and after twelve months he greets him and does not offer him condolences, אבל מדבר עמו מן הצד – but he may speak to him indirectly, which Rashi explains to mean that he says to him תתנחם – You should be comforted, but does not mention the name of the deceased. Rebbe Meir said that one who offers condolences to his friend after twelve months have passed, is likened to a person whose foot broke and then healed, and a doctor met him and said to him: Come to me and I will break it again and then heal it, so you can see how good my treatment is. The Gemara answers that the last Baraisa is referring to someone who lost a parent, whereas the first Baraisa was referring to someone who lost another relative.
