Question: At which point does the onen status end?

Discussion: Essentially, the halachos of onen apply until after the burial. The burial is considered complete with regard to the status of onen once the body is covered with dirt.183

However, Shulchan Aruch184 rules that if the family hands the body over to designated pallbearers whose task it is to carry the deceased and perform the burial, the relatives are then absolved of their obligations toward the dead, and the halachos of onen no longer apply. Based on this ruling, later Acharonim185 write that in cities where there is a chevrah kaddisha who take charge of the burial, once the family agrees upon the cost and location of the burial with the chevrah kaddisha representatives and hand over the body, they are no longer onenim. The Acharonim add, though, that if a relative delivers a hesped, he will be exempt from mitzvos at that time. Accordingly, in many situations the halachos of aninus are over well before the actual burial.

Other Acharonim, though, maintain that as long as the family members are accompanying the deceased to the funeral and burial, they retain the status of onen until after the burial.186

The halachah and custom follows this view.187 Thus, the following halachos apply:

1. Relatives who accompany the body until the burial are considered onenim until after the burial. As mentioned above, the burial is considered complete with regard to the status of aninus once the body is covered with dirt.188 Some Poskim add that after the body is handed over to the chevrah kaddisha, relatives who continue to accompany the deceased may choose to perform mitzvos.189
2. Relatives who are not accompanying the deceased lose their onen status as soon as they part from the deceased. Some Poskim maintain that if these relatives are in the city where the burial is taking place, they will remain onenim until after the burial.190

Question: In a situation where the body is flown to another country and is being held in the cargo department under the care of the airline personnel, will the accompanying relatives still have the status of onenim?

Discussion: This question is subject to a dispute amongst contemporary Poskim. Some say that since at this point there is nothing the relative can do in preparation for the burial, he will not be an onen.191 These Poskim would agree, though, that if the relative writes a hesped to deliver at the funeral, he will be an onen while he prepares his remarks.

Others hold that although the accompanying relatives are not actively preparing the body for burial, the fact that they are accompanying the body is itself a role which shows respect for the deceased. This too is considered a form of involvement with the dead that renders them onenim.192

183 Mishnah Berurah 71:4.

184 Yoreh Deah 341:3.

185 Cited in Mishnah Berurah 71:3.

186 Noda BiYehudah, Yoreh Deah, Tinyana 211, cited in Pischei Teshuvah, Yoreh Deah 341:21; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 196:5; Aruch Hashulchan, Yoreh Deah 341:22; Gesher Hachaim 18:2:21.

187 Aruch Hashulchan ibid.; Tziyunei Halachah 4, p. 24, citing R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv.

188 Mishnah Berurah 71:4.

189 Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 196:5; Tziyunei Halachah 4, pg. 25, citing R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv; Gesher Hachaim 18:2:22. There, he adds that if waiting until after the burial may cause the relatives to miss the time for Kerias Shema or tefillah, they must recite Kerias Shema and daven yet before the burial.

190 Aruch Hashulchan ibid.

191 R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach cited in Pnei Baruch, Aninus 1:61; R’ Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, cited in Mishnas Yosef 8:66:5; Gesher Chaim 18, note 1.

192 Emes LeYa’akov 71, note 103; R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, cited in Tziyunei Halachah 4, p. 60; R’ Shmuel Wosner, cited in Nishmas Yisrael 1, p. 49.