Repeating Kiddush or Havdalah for a Child

If our ten-year-old child missed Havdalah, can I say it again for him? What about Kiddush on Shabbos? Would it be better for him to say Kiddush/Havdalah himself?

The gemara[1] states that when a child is capable of properly performing a particular mitzvah, his father must see to it that his son does that mitzvah. Based on this, Magen Avraham[2] writes that a child who is יודע מענין שבת is obligated in the mitzvah of Kiddush. The Mishnah Berurah[3] mentions ages 6-7 regarding the mitzvah of Kiddush, and certainly a 10-year-old boy understands what Shabbos is about, and therefore he is obligated to recite Kiddush. The gemara[4] teaches that based onכל ישראל ערבים זה לזה, one who has already fulfilled the mitzvah of Kiddush may recite Kiddush a second time on behalf of someone else –אף על פי שיצא מוציא . Does this apply to children as well? Can an adult who already fulfilled his mitzvah perform it again for a child? When examining the mitzvah of Kiddush, the Poskim discuss whether this concept ofערבות applies to men and women equally. This question has ramifications in many homes on Friday night. Assuming a man fulfills the mitzvah of Kiddushon a Torah level through davening, how then can he recite Kiddush on behalf of the women in the home, as his present obligation is only rabbinic?[5] Ifערבות is operational, then there would be no issue. However, the Dagul Merivavah[6] questions ifערבות applies to women altogether. He understands the Rosh[7] as saying that women are not included inערבות and they cannot perform a mitzvah a second time for a man, and he is uncertain if the same limitation applies for a man who wishes to perform a mitzvah a second time on behalf of a woman. R’ Akiva Eiger[8] disagrees and he assumes the laws of ערבות apply equally to men and women,[9] and there is no issue for a man who davened Maariv to recite Kiddush on behalf of his wife.

Regarding children, one can argue that because a child isn’t obligated on his own, the rules ofערבות may not apply. In fact, the Pri Megadim,[10] after mentioning the application ofערבות for women, wonders about the application ofערבות for children, while the Mishnah Berurah[11] assumes thatערבות applies to children. If one is concerned thatערבות doesn’t apply toward children, an adult shouldn’t repeat Kiddush on behalf of his son. Nevertheless, one can counter that a father’s obligation of chinuch toward his son is unique and therefore he is certainly allowed to repeat Kiddush for him even ifערבות wouldn’t apply. In summary, a 10-year-old child is obligated in Kiddush and if he missed his father’s Kiddush, he should recite Kiddush himself. If that is not possible, his father can recite Kiddush a second time on his behalf.

Aside for the Kiddush on Friday night, which is a מצוה דאורייתא, the gemara[12] records that there is a Shabbos-day Kiddush known as קידושא רבה. This Kiddush is merely reciting בורא פרי הגפן. The Rishonim debate if this Kiddush is viewed as aברכת הנהנין or a ברכת המצווה. While the Beis Yosef[13] cites both opinions, in the Shulchan Aruch as well as the Rema[14] it is clear that the rules ofברכת המצוה apply and thusאף על פי שיצא מוציא operates and one can repeat the morning Kiddush for others, including a child. In this context, the Shulchan Aruch adds thatאף על פי שיצא מוציא should be employed only if one cannot do the mitzvah on their own. However, the Mishnah Berurah[15] cites those who disagree, and he is more lenient in allowing forאף על פי שיצא מוציא to be implemented even for one who is capable of doing the mitzvah himself. In the laws of Havdalah, the Mishnah Berurah[16] writes thatאף על פי שיצא מוציא applies to Havdalah just like Kiddush, and therefore one may repeatהבדלה for one who is unable to do so himself. He adds that if a child didn’t hearהבדלה, an adult may repeatהבדלה for that child.[17]

In certain situations, a child missing Kiddush or Havdalah presents a different challenge. The Shulchan Aruch[18]cites the gemara[19] that if one didn’t say Kiddush Friday night, they must do so on Shabbos day. Thus, a child who was asleep when Kiddush was recited Friday night would be required to say the complete Kiddush –מקדש השבת – on Shabbos morning. Somewhat similar regardingהבדלה , one who forgets on Motzei Shabbos must sayהבדלה afterward until Tuesday.[20] Based on this, the Shemiras Shabbos[21] writes that children who went to sleep beforeהבדלה on Motzei Shabbos must makeהבדלה on Sunday morning. This happens often during the summer months, when children are asleep by the timeהבדלה is said at 9:30 or 10:00 pm. However, the Teshuvos B’Tzel Hachochmah[22] writes that because by Torah law a child is not obligated in mitzvos, we are more lenient and do not require him to “make up” for a missed mitzvah. Additionally, the obligation ofחינוך may apply only to the mitzvos that a child normally does, and becauseהבדלה is so late at certain times of the year, a child may not be required to perform that mitzvah.[23] The common practice appears to be not to require children to recite or hear הבדלה on Sunday morning. In either of these scenarios, the child recites Kiddush or Havdalah himself.

[1] Sukkah 42a.

[2] 343:3.

[3] 269:1.

[4] Rosh Hashanah 29a.

[5] See Teshuvos Chasam Sofer OC 15, Aruch Hashulchan 271:6.

[6] 271 d.h. D’bmili.

[7] Brachos 3:13.

[8] Comments to Dagul Merivavah, Brachos 20b d.h. BihaRosh.

[9] See Mishnah Berurah 271:5, Sha’ar Hatziun 9.

[10] 689:4 Eishel Avraham.

[11] 296:32.

[12] Pesachim 106a.

[13] 273:4.

[14] 273:4.

[15] 20.

[16] 296:32.

[17] However, when repeatingהבדלה for others, the brachos on the fire and besamim should be said by the one listening and not by the one makingהבדלה . See Mishnah Berurah 297:13.

[18] 271:8.

[19] Pesachim 107.

[20] Shulchan Aruch 299:6.

[21] 58:20.

[22] 5:169.

[23] See Shulchan Aruch 70:2, Koveitz Halachos, Shabbos 9:5.