Is There a Halachic Basis for Women Not to Drink From Havdalah?

Q. Is there any Halachic basis for women not drinking from Havdalah?

The more fundamental question is, are women obligated in the mitzvah of Havdalah? Generally, women are absolved from time bound mitzvos- זמן גרמא, however they are obligated in the Mitzvah of Kiddush. The gemara [1] obligates women based upon the זכור ושמור connection, all who are obligated to refrain from melacha on Shabbos are commanded in the positive aspects of Shabbos. The Meiri [2] cites the Rambam [3] who assumes that Havdalah like Kiddush is included in the mitzvah of זכור את יום השבת לקדשו and as such women are obligated in the Havdalah like Kiddush. He adds that according to those who believe that Havdalah is only a Rabbinic obligation, it is patterned like the Torah’s obligation of Kiddush and as such women are obligated in Havdalah on a Rabbinic level [4]. However, the Beis Yosef [5] cites the Orchos Chaim who argues that Havdalah is a classic זמן גרמא and therefore women are not obligated. The Shulchan Aruch [6] cites both opinions and the Rema adds that it is best for women to hear Havdalah from a man and not recite Havdalah themselves.

The Bach [7] find the comment of the Rema to be difficult. For even if women are not absolutely obligated in time bound mitzvos they are certainly allowed to do that mitzvah, and Ashkenazik practice allows them to recite the corresponding Brachos as well. Therefore, a woman should be allowed to make Havdalah whether it is a Torah obligation or a Rabbinic one. Based on this, the Mishna Berurah [8] writes that if there is no male available to recite Havdalah a woman is certainly able to recite Havdalah and drink the wine [9]. The Magen Avraham [10] defends the Rema’s position, he argues that women may recite brachos on time bound mitzvos, but if the mitzvah itself is merely the Bracha, in those instances women may not recite those brachos. Additionally, the Magen Avraham [11] cites the Shelah that it is customary that women do not drink the wine of Havdalah. The Shelah himself writes that this is due to fact that the sin of Adam and Chava was with a grape vine, and because of Chava’s role and subsequent punishment women avoid Havdalah wine [12]. Perhaps the most well-known “explanation” is that drinking the wine will cause a woman to grow a beard. There is no authentic source for this claim, the Chazon Ish [13] is quoted as saying that the original statement was “only those who grow beards – men should drink the wine of Havdalah”, and people then made this comical error.

There does appear to be a halachic reasoning for this custom. Havdalah is comprised of four Brachos, beginning with הגפן followed by בשמים and נר and lastly המבדיל. Because each bracha is necessary it is not considered a הפסק between the bracha of הגפן and finally drinking the wine at the conclusion of Havdalah. Consequently, R Isser Zalman Melzer [14] suggested that because it is not clear that women are obligated at all in the mitzvah of Havdalah, her answering Amen to all of the brachos between הגפן and actually drinking the wine serves as an interruption and hence she should not drink the Havdalah wine. According to this logic a woman may recite her own bracha of הגפן after hearing Havdalah from a man as there would be no halachic concern. In a situation where a woman is unable to hear Havdalah from a man, what is the best option? Some Poskim allow a man who has already recited Havdalah to recite it again on behalf of a woman, but many others disagree [15]. The Mishnah Berurah [16] writes that in this situation it is best for a woman recite all of four brachos and drink the wine [17].

[1] Brachos 20b

[2] d.h. Shehanashim

[3] Shabbos 29:1

[4] see Maggid Mishna and Ritva Pesachim 54a d.h. Vaf

[5] 296:8

[6] 296:8

[7] D.h. Aval

[8] 35

[9] See Aruch Hashulchan 5

[10] 296:11

[11] 4

[12] Interestingly the Magen Avraham also cites the Shebolei Haleket that the one reciting Havdalah should drink the wine himself and not share the wine with others.

[13] Ma’aseh Ish Vol. 5 pg. 93

[14] Cited in Teshuvos Har Tzvi O”C 1:154, B’Ikvei Hatzon 39:6.

[15] See Mishna Berurah 36

[16] 35, Biur Halachah d.h. Lo

[17] See Teshuvos Salmas Chaim 264 who discusses whether the wine may be given to someone else to drink, or must the woman drink the wine. See Shulchan Aruch 271:14, Mishnah Berurah 74.