303. The Zimmun

45:6 The one leading bentching invites the others to join him. Customary phrases include “rabbosai, nevareich” (“gentlemen, let us bentch”), “hav lan v’nivrach” (“give us the cup so that we may bentch”), and “rabbosai, mir vellen bentchen” (“gentlemen, we must bentch” in Yiddish). The other diners respond, “May the Name of God be blessed from now to eternity.” The leader officially requests permission of the other diners (“birshus…”), followed by “let us bless the One of Whose bounty we have partaken.” The others respond “Blessed be the One of Whose bounty we have partaken and through Whose goodness we live.” The leader repeats this phrase. There are different customs as to whether or not the others reply “Amen” or the leader says “Baruch Hu u’baruch shmo” at this point. Some only say “Baruch Hu u’baruch shmo” in a zimmun of three, while others only say it when bentching with a minyan because then God’s Name is mentioned. In any event, only the leader would say “Baruch Hu u’baruch shmo” and one certainly would not say it when bentching alone. (Our practice is not to say “Amen” at all – Mishnah Brurah 192:3.) 45:7 The leader should say bentching out loud and the other diners should say it along with him quietly. The others should finish each bracha before the leader so that they can respond “Amen” when he concludes each blessing.