Once a person departs from this world, he has lost the immense opportunity to perform mitzvos. The deceased are keenly aware of this lack. Chazal tell us that this is something that the living must be sensitive to, and that it is therefore prohibited to perform mitzvos openly in the presence of the dead. In Chazal’s terms, this is referred to as lo’eg larash – “mocking the needy,” i.e., mocking those who are bereft of the rich opportunities that we have to perform mitzvos.305

Therefore, when one is in the presence of the dead, it is forbidden to openly wear tzitzis306 or tefillin;307 to daven or recite any tefillos, berachos, or the like;308 to learn Torah,309 or to perform any other mitzvah.

This prohibition also applies when in the presence of a deceased child who passed away yet before he becoming obligated in mitzvos.310 However, in the presence of a deceased woman, it is permitted to perform time-dependent mitzvos since she was not obligated in these mitzvos in her lifetime.311

Question: How do we define being in the presence of the deceased?

Discussion: The presence of the deceased includes:

1. Being within four amos of a body or a grave;312
2. Being anywhere in a cemetery, except for the edge of a cemetery where they have not yet begun to bury bodies.313
3. The Poskim314 dispute whether mitzvos are permitted in the same room as a body, at a distance of four amos. One may follow the lenient opinion.315

Question: Hespedim delivered at funerals in the presence of the deceased often contain divrei Torah. Is that a transgression of lo’eg larash?

In a similar vein, what is the justification for the widespread minhag of reciting Tehillim while sitting with a body before burial, or of reciting Kaddish in a cemetery?

Discussion: The Gemara316 teaches that after the death of King Chizkiyahu, a yeshivah was established at his burial site. Some Rishonim317 understand that the yeshivah was situated within four amos of his grave. This was permitted since the Torah was being learned in his honor.

Following this approach, Shulchan Aruch318 rules that a hesped said in honor of the deceased may include divrei Torah.

In fact, the hesped may contain divrei Torah even if it is delivered in a cemetery where others are buried. This is because speaking Torah in honor of a dead person is not considered mockery of the dead – even with regard to other dead people.319

Following this approach, the Poskim name various mitzvos and tefillos that may be done or recited in the presence of the dead, since they are done on his behalf:

1. Tehillim may be said for the benefit of the deceased’s neshamah.320
2. Kaddish, as well, may be recited to elevate the soul of the deceased.321
3. The Poskim dispute whether a person traveling with a body may recite Tefillas Haderech. The argument to permit it is that it is not only the person escorting the body who requires peaceful passage, but the body itself as well. If possible, it is best to step out of the car and say it at a distance from the body.322
4. One may give tzedakah at a funeral for the benefit of the deceased’s neshamah.323
5. One may study Torah for the benefit of the neshamah near the deceased.324

Question: While mitzvos and tefillos for the benefit of the deceased are permitted, what is the justification for the extremely widespread practice to pray for one’s own needs at the graves of tzadikim?

Discussion: A cemetery where tzaddikim are buried carries special spiritual significance and merit, and tefillos recited there are more readily accepted.325 As such, when people come to daven for their needs relying on the merit of the great people buried there, it shows them the greatest respect. This is the opposite of lo’eg larash.326

305 Berachos 18a.

306 Shulchan Aruch 23:1. The general understanding is that one’s tzitzis strings should be tucked in. However, Tziyunei Halachah (40, p. 617) cites R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv as ruling that if the tallis katan is beneath one’s shirt, that is sufficient; it is not necessary to tuck in the tzitzis strings.

The Poskim disagree as to whether one may wear a tallis if the tzitzis strings are covered (Mishnah Berurah 23:3).

307 Shulchan Aruch 45:1. If the batim and retzuos (boxes and straps) are covered, they may be worn (Mishnah Berurah 45:3).

308 See Shulchan Aruch 71:7 with Mishnah Berurah 71:15. Included in the prohibition is reciting berachos over food (Sdei Chemed, vol. 4, Ma’areches Aveilus 116), and berachos over thunder and lightning or the like (Chut Shani, Shabbos, vol. 3, p. 227).

309 Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 344:16. It is permitted to think Torah thoughts (R’ Chaim Kanievsky, cited in Doleh Umashkeh, p. 32).

310 Mishnah Berurah 23:5 and 45:2.

311 Mishnah Berurah 23:5. See, however, Shoneh Halachos (23:3) citing Kehillas Ya’akov and Kaf Hachaim (23:3), who rule that there is no difference between men and women in this regard.

312 Shulchan Aruch 23:3.

313 Mishnah Berurah 45:1.

314 Cited in Mishnah Berurah 45:2.

315 Chazon Ish 15:6.

316 Bava Kama 16b.

317 Ramah cited in Nimukei Yosef 6b (Rif folio); Teshuvos Ri Migash 47; Teshuvos Radvaz 1:224.

318 Yoreh Deah 344:17.

319 Levush 344:17.

320 Chochmas Adam 155:15; Aruch Hashulchan, Yoreh Deah 367:5. It is, however, recorded that the Chazon Ish would instruct people not to say Tehillim in the same room as the body; see Orchos Rabbeinu 4, p. 300; Kitzur Divrei Sofrim, p. 3. See also Doleh Umashkeh (p. 33), citing R’ Chaim Kanievsky who rules that a person saying Tehillim in the presence of the dead should not stand within four amos of the body.

321 Gesher Hachaim 1:16:6:4; Nehar Mitzrayim, Hilchos Aveilus 68.

322 See Doleh Umashkeh, p. 33. citing R’ Chaim Kanievsky; Tefillas Haderech Vehilchoseha 10; Ishei Yisrael 50:10; and see Kanfei Ruach (R’ Yitzchak Zilberstein, printed at the end of Avnei Chein) 17:2-4.

323 It is therefore incorrect for a person collecting charity at a funeral to announce צדקה תציל ממוות – “Charity saves one from death,” since the reason tzedakah is permitted in the presence of the dead is because it provides merit for the deceased, not for the living (Sukkas Shalom 6:2).

324 Birkei Yosef, Yoreh Deah 344:7 and Kaf Hachaim, Orach Chaim 23:1.

325 See Rema 581:4 with Mishnah Berurah 27.

326 Minchas Elazar 3:53. See Ha’amek She’eilah, Sheiltos 14:6, and Tziyunei Halachah (4, p. 619), citing R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv for a different approach to this question.