Last time, we saw the bare bones of yichud laws; now, let’s see some edges, where the rules expand to be either more stringent or lenient.

A Wife or Husband Mitigate Yichud

Se’if five of Even HaEzer 22 dismisses concerns about yichud if a man’s wife is on the premises. We assume she would object, and her husband would not want to be caught, and therefore allow more secluded situations than we might normally. If she is at work with him, for example, it would help if his profession was one where he was often alone with women (such as a doctor or therapist).

Se’if six tells us a husband’s being in the city suffices to assuage worries about a wife’s yichud, unless she has a longstanding close relationship with a particular man, or the husband had lodged a complaint/concern about a certain man.

[These halachot seem to me ripe for reconsideration. Sadly, anecdotal evidence shows that affairs occur despite a spouse’s presence in a city, cities and even neighborhoods now more than big enough for an adulterous couple to feel they will not be caught.

Perhaps we need to treat it like another rule about yichud, a secluded room is not yichud if there is an unlocked door. That’s only true, though, if there is a real possibility of a sudden entry, embarrassing enough to stop the couple from untoward activity. I wonder whether “husband in the city” has to mean they know he can appear suddenly, or there is a real likelihood he will hear what they’re doing.

It reminds us yichud is a practical issue, not a set of rules. Where transgressions can occur without worry of being caught is yichud, technicalities aside.]

Where Our Suspicions Are Heightened

AH’s tradition was that non-Jews don’t pay attention to wives’ concerns, so the presence of a non-Jew’s wife isn’t enough for a Jewish woman to be alone with the two of them. [He seems worried the man will seduce the Jewish woman, not rape her. Another example of the unpredictability of sexual attraction.]

The next example applies to many more than the named situation. He says Jewish boys cannot be left with a non-Jewish teacher, because non-Jews are suspected, either of homosexuality or of luring students to their religious views.

[I was once at a school where, mid-year, a very popular teacher was fired, because he had been trying to recruit students to his/her form of Christianity. That aside, today some of these forms of yichud seem more of a worry than back then, such as, unfortunately, even Jewish male teachers alone with male students.]

Multiple Men or Women

Se’ifim seven to ten present views on how many men or women negate yichud worries, because people won’t pair off with prying eyes around [another example where halachah doesn’t say it all; today, popular culture portrays parties where couples do what they want, in front of everyone, and no one cares. Certainly a yichud problem, regardless of how many people are there].

While the Gemara seemed to think two men and a woman do not constitute yichud, because the men won’t have relations in front of each other, Rambam limited that to extraordinarily righteous people, tzadikim gemurim. Ditto for the idea that multiple women remove yichud worries for a man (three or more, Beit Shemuel held); while the Gemara implies it is ok, Rambam thought the man’s wife had to be there, to put a stop to whatever might happen.

Where Leniency Creeps In

More lenient views allow one man with three women and two men with one woman, although it might change with circumstance (night, an abandoned road, etc.). The Gemara held that certain women hated each other enough to ease our worries, such as co-wives, or a woman with her mother- or sister-in-law. They would not cover for each other and are therefore enough to stop a situation from being yichud.

A child who knows about sexual activity, but is not old enough to be interested, also stops a couple from being considered to have yichud, unless it is night, where we worry the couple can find a place where the child is not.

On the more stringent side, AH would not allow a man to serve as permanent watchman for a courtyard of women. Despite the many women there making it not specific yichud, his fixed presence makes him well-known to them, so no one would get in the way if he and one of the residents developed a special relationship. (Meaning, as I pointed out earlier, anyone from whom a couple can expect silent acquiescence does not help with yichud concerns.)

Even Our Greatest

These worries apply to people of high morals, too. The Gemara forbade a Torah scholar’s tenancy, even paid, in a widow’s house; Rambam thought the whole shared courtyard was a problem.

Se’if fifteen has more examples, a single man should not hire a live-in maid, even if she has a child, because her child will not be there all the time. Single men and women should not teach elementary school because they will become familiar with the parents [this might be less applicable now, where picking up a child doesn’t involve going to see the teacher, and professional standards of the educational system shift the type and tone of interactions between parents and staff.

Of course, if we suddenly heard of affairs between parents and teachers—or, sadly, teachers and students-- we would have to articulate and adhere to versions of yichud rules to make that well-nigh impossible.]

AH closes with a reminder of the challenge in keeping these laws. Yoma 75a says the Jewish people cried when they were legislated, accepted them only grudgingly. All kinds of activities that lead to closeness—AH speaks of taking walks, playing games, singing with them at parties—should be avoided with arayot, even if they do not specifically constitute yichud.

Being married ideally helps, both because the spouse will throw a fit and because the marriage is supposed to satisfy some of the physical urges involved. Also helpful, AH says, is to focus one’s thoughts on Torah, expand one’s knowledge of wisdom. (Easy to caricature, I think he means that making Torah central to our lives, its study and observance, shapes us into the kind of people for whom those temptations are less interesting, are more clearly distractions from what we truly care about.

The laws of yichud, in their overall arc and those of their details that apply to each era, aim to help us, make us, at least around sexuality, the kinds of people among whom God will reside His Presence. Speedily in our days.

Next time, the obligation to testify if we have relevant information.

Adapted from articles previously published on Torah Musings