Attending a Wedding During Sefiras HaOmer

Q. My minhag is to maintain the customs of mourning after Lag B’Omer (commonly known as the second half of Sefira). I was invited to a wedding on Lag B’Omer, but the music and dancing will continue after nightfall. Am I permitted to continue to participate in the dancing? Similarly, may I attend a wedding that is scheduled during the latter days of the Sefira?

A. Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt’l (Igeros Moshe OC 1:159) writes that the minhagim of Sefira are overridden by the mitzvah to be misameyach (bring joy to) the chasan and kallah. He writes that it appears that one can participate at a wedding, even if it took place inappropriately during Sefira. Although it is forbidden to arrange a wedding during certain days of the Sefira, it is permissible to dance and celebrate once the couple is married. Rav Moshe proves this from a ruling of the Shulchan Aruch (OC 493:1). Shulchan Aruch writes that one is forbidden to get married between Pesach and Lag B’Omer, but if one did, we do not penalize him. Rav Moshe argues that if no one is permitted to celebrate with the couple, that would be an exceptionally severe punishment. It follows that if the marriage was performed in accordance with halacha, those who have a different minhag may certainly dance and celebrate together with the chasan and kallah. Rav Belsky, zt”l (Shulchan Halevi 13:7) pointed out that one who keeps the second half of Sefira should not join in the dancing unless the chasan and kallah are present, since the allowance to participate is based on bringing joy to the bride and groom.

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The Gerald & Karin Feldhamer OU Kosher Halacha Yomis is dedicated to the memory of Rav Yisroel Belsky, zt"l, who served as halachic consultant for OU Kosher for more than 28 years; many of the responses in Halacha Yomis are based on the rulings of Rabbi Belsky. Subscribe to the Halacha Yomis daily email here.